Smile Away!

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The Language Nerds

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Or Sketchers?

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Smile Away

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Humor

from santa banta:

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Chuckles

from Ray Mitchell:

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As he lay on his deathbed he spoke, “Sara, I want you should know before I die that Ginsburg the tailor owes me $200, and Morris the butcher owes me $50, and Klein next door owes me $300.”

His wife turned to the children and said, “What a wonderful man your father is. Even when he’s dying, he’s got the brains to realize who owes him money.”

The old man continued, “And Sara I want you to also know that I owe the landlord a hundred dollars.”

To which his wife cried, “Oh oh, now he’s getting delirious!”

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If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

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A man asks his guru, “Do you have anything that stops the aging process?”

The guru responds, “Sure. What kind of disease would you like?”

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Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.

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Jill, in the personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex.

She sent this reply…”Attached is a list of our staff.  We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics.”

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He who would go a hundred miles should consider ninety-nine as halfway.

Japanese proverb

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My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots.

“Tina,” I commented, “I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?”

“At the store,” she answered.

“Which one?” I asked.

She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, “Both of them!”

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A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, “I don’t really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them.”

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Someday is not a day of the week.

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She said: All Desirable things in life are either ILLEGAL, BANNED, FATTENING, OR MARRIED TO OTHERS.

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Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, “It’s no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size.”

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Dear Lord,

So far today, Lord, I’ve done alright. I haven’t gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent. I’m very thankful for that.

But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed. And from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot more help.

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“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

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“The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”

King Edward VIII

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Smile Away

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Smile Away :-)

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How Did We Miss Seeing It Until…?

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Wishful Thinking

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Finally, The ‘Why’ Is Answered!!!

A question tormenting the human race for ages is finally laid to rest:

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vide Matthew Kroeger‎ to Non-political Beyond the Far Side group

No Kidding, They Said That??

A few non-troll responses elicited by the above post:

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Ry.. What is difference of normal bees and queen bee? 😅

Jh.. Queen Bees having a crown

Pa.. Normal bees are the peasants or the soldiers. The queen gives birth to all of them.
P.S. Oh and the crown as said before

Ry.. Okay, thanks guys. Even i can’t believe that queen bees using a crown 😅

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Ah.. How did they count them?

Za..

Ah.. Za.. Is that a bee counter?

Za.. Nope. That’s a money counter machine

Ah.. How is that supposed to count bees?

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Jo.. How did they count the bees?

Mu.. By beetometer bro

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Et.. ITS 6833 NOT 20000 BELIEVE ME I COUNTED IT HAHAHAH

Ryo.. no one believes you.

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Ha.. Would u show me an evidence that it’s certainly a 20k bees?

Ya.. Ha.. count it.

Ha.. I asked, you do.

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Va.. WTF 20.000? This should be 20,001 bees. They don’t count the queen bee? They will be jailed because the queen is not considered

An.. it’s not 20,001 because the queen wasn’t chasing the car, she was trapped in it

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Ro… What if they are 20,001? So it’s not a meme anymore? It’s a misinformation.

An.. Source??????

Ar… Queen is been kidnapped

Sa.. Al.. “Bee”ware of who you lock away in your car

Ja.. That’s loyalty and determination

Te.. If you know anything about bees, you would know that story isn’t true. Bees will make a new queen if the old one dies or disappears. That’s how splitting a hive works.

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