More Laughs Your Way
October 22, 2020 2 Comments
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Source: Dumpaday.com, uberhumor.com, etc.
Laugh With Ray
October 9, 2020 7 Comments
Becky: Do you love me with all your heart and soul?
Dave: Uh-huh!
Becky: Do you think I’m the most beautiful girl in the world?
Dave: Uh-huh!
Becky: Do you think my lips are like rose pedals?
Dave: Uh-huh!
Becky: Oh, you say the sweetest things!
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It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
Jerry Seinfeld
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A Jewish man was in St. Vincent’s Hospital recovering from an emergency operation when a nun walked into his room. She was there to cheer up the sick and ailing. The man and nun started talking and the nun asked about the man’s life. The man talked about his wife and 13 children.
“My, my,” said the nun, “13 children . . . You’re a good, proper Catholic family man. God is very proud of you!”
“I’m sorry, Sister,” the man said, “I am not Catholic. I’m Jewish.”
“Jewish!?” she replies and immediately gets up to leave.
“Sister, why are you leaving?”
“I didn’t realize I was talking to a sex maniac!”
**
“Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir,” urged the
street vendor.
“I haven’t got a wife,” replied the young man.
“Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart.”
“I don’t have a sweetheart, either.”
“Well then, buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your luck.”
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A friend and I were shopping for dresses for her three-year-old girls to wear to a wedding. In the store, another girl staring intently at Sarah and Becky asked, “Are those girls twins?”
“Actually they’re triplets,” I explained. “They have a brother at home.”
“Wow,” she replied. “They sure look like twins to me.”
**
We were driving our three-year-old son to his Grandma’s home when we stopped at a store. Once inside, our son decided he wanted one of those large gumballs. I told him he couldn’t have one, and he began to pout. I leaned over to him and said, “This is a fact of life: You don’t always get everything you want.”
“I know,” he replied. “Just don’t tell Gramma.”
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Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.
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My wife treats me like GOD..!
She takes no notice of my existence.. Until she wants something.
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On the bottom of an office memo: “If you have any questions, please read again.”
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Two old ladies sat on a bench talking. One said to the other, “Good heavens! Who did your hair? It looks like a wig!”
The second lady replied, “It is a wig.”
“Really?” exclaimed the first lady, “You could never tell!”
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End
Source: Ray Mitchell
Good For A Few Chuckles!
October 3, 2020 3 Comments
Outside of Indian movies, ever seen in a chick chasing a dog?
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Until Death Parted Us?? A Horror Story (600+ Words)
April 21, 2019 1 Comment
She was reported missing by her husband a week ago.
The police machinery set in motion had no concrete information yet.
The husband was also questioned on rumors of marital discord.
That’s where it stalled.
He was sure there was some foul play in his sister’s disappearance. Asking around, he got nothing to go by. Yes, there were the usual domestic squabbles from time to time heard by the neighbors. But that was about all.
His friend took him to consult a baba known to have powers of vision.
The baba heard them out and said: ‘Unfortunately, I’ve expended all my tantric/yogis power. Not until the next full-moon day that is about three weeks away from now…’
Pressed by the friend to do something here and now, the baba went into a trance, promising to do his best.
Coming out of trance some ten minutes later, the baba was panting for breath and profusely sweating. The two visitors felt guilty of putting the baba to trouble and stood aside nervously heads down. The baba called them near and said: ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t muster enough power to have a clear vision…I had warned you…All I could hazily see was a patch in front of a rose bush in what appeared to be a backyard of a house.’
He understood – the spot in front of the rose bush in the backyard of her house was his sister’s favorite place. Often she would sit there, read books, play with her dog or simply lie down looking at the sky.
He went to the police and raised a ruckus over their inaction so far. With great apprehension and reluctance, more to appease him and buy more time, they agreed to act on the baba’s input, quite at the risk of exposing themselves to ridicule for taking a mere baba’s word seriously.
It wasn’t easy either to get their way with the husband. Despite his protestations, finally they managed to dig up the patch on the yard where the soil did look disturbed.
At two feet of depth they struck pay-dirt.
All hands went up to their noses as the overpowering stench of decaying flesh bubbled up.
In there was a dog’s body, its upper torso revealed clear off the soil. It was his sister’s, marked by the distinctive strap around the neck.
She had loved the dog like her own child – they had none of their own.
The husband was ready for it – he explained: after his wife went missing, the dog was inconsolable try hard as he might. Went without food or water. He even took it to a vet – they could check it out, his medication to no avail. It would go and lie down on the patch and not move in even in the cold nights. Two days ago it was found dead in the morning. The poor thing was buried at its favorite spot. That’s how it came to be where it was found.
He looked dazed, sat down on the ground disheartened hands on his head. It was back to square one. No doubt the baba had ‘seen’ – but it was not good enough. Now what next…
The police officer in-charge shook his head in dismay and, cursing himself under his breath, ordered the men to refill the hole on the ground, his mind racing to find a way to mollify the irate husband.
Thump…thump…It stopped as soon as it began. Commotion ensued at the hole, men inured to seeing the ghastly and gore clambering out of the hole like they were fleeing death. Brought the officer rushing back to the scene.
Trying vainly to block the stench, the officer peered down the hole to see the dog’s body head to toe now fully cleared off the soil, his attention drawn to the lower torso where it was held in a close hug by a badly decomposed hand coming up from under.
End
Source: Inspired by an Indian movie episode narrated to me long ago. Can’t recall which, who… Image from Masterfile
Update: M tells me the movie is Kamal Haasan’s Papanasam. Apparently the story takes a different route with no paranormal elements – only the dog remains the common piece.
This Is More Than Any Man Of Religion Could Ever Claim…
March 23, 2019 Leave a comment
…internalizing his Lord’s teachings!!!
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Source: Faithless Vagabonds
Don’t Want To Be In His Place
March 19, 2019 Leave a comment
Just look at the dog…expression abs priceless.
Vide: Shanthi Ravichandran
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Groom Wanted!
February 5, 2019 1 Comment
Yes, it would be an arranged-by-the-family marriage for reasons you’ll shortly understand and approve.
While I’ve the permission of the family to share the horoscope and a photo of the US-born-and-lovingly-bred girl, this invitation for a suitable alliance is for a wider choice and solely my personal doing, hopefully a pardonable overreach from a well-wisher. The interested may contact the family directly to take the matter forward.
Here’s the horoscope cast by a learned jyotish (astrologer):
Nama-karanam (naming ceremony), Ayusha-homam for long life and other rituals for general well-being like archana’s at the temple on Tamizh and English birthdays every year – all performed as prescribed.
More on her: Understands fluent English and Tamizh. Amiable and loving disposition. Likes swimming, long hikes, frolicking on the beach, watching movies (Tamizh and Hindi, especially Tamizh comedy). Not a vegan but loves dosa, idli, chapati, kuzhi paniyaram, murukku/chakli , thattai, bhakarwadi, toasted butter-pav, paneer, milk-shakes…but no onions or garlic, sweets, chocolates, nuts and coffee.
Before I’m accused of advocating child marriage – Maya is 2012-born – let me present a snap of the bride and clear myself:
The girl is not cropped out – she’s the girl! A basenji-corgi cross.
End.
The Survival Of The Intelligent
July 14, 2018 Leave a comment
Warning:
More evidence coming in, after here and here, about animals evolving rapidly to get ahead of homo-sapiens in the game:
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Kaleidoscope 
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