Across The Waters Sans Boat Or Bridge – A Children’s Story Of Tenali Raman’s Wit And Wisdom

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The pehalwan from the north was an instant hit. People dropped their jaws watching his amazing acts of physical prowess – he would have a couple of heavy-built locals stand on his out-stretched arm, pull a tree clean off the ground with bare hands or bend iron bars.

It was only a matter of time before he drew the attention of Krishna Deva Raya’s court where he was invited for a display of his strengths before the royalty, senior officials of the court and special invitees. A part of the beautiful palace garden was set up for the show. As a standard courtesy extended to all artistes, on arrival important dignitaries ere personally introduced by Raya to the pehalwan with a few words on who they were. When it was Tenali Raman’s turn Raya went overboard waxing eloquently about his wit. Not given to sharing the stage with anyone else, the pehalwan looked at Raman’s unremarkable presence in a traditional attire, his body language making no secret of where he stood on brawn vis-a-vis brain.  Raya noticed it right away and made light of it cautioning  the pehalwan not to get on the wrong side of Raman.

Introductions concluded, Raya went back to his seat and the pehalwan to his position for commencement of the show. In his opening act he came out cradling a baby, a little large-sized, in his arms; his audience amused at this light-hearted start – a L or XL bear mad with buzzing wasps held in an embrace would have been a more satisfying sight! Soon he was handling the baby like it was a soft-toy, tossing it from here to there, standing it up on his little finger in a ‘Krishna’s Govardhana’ pose, tossing it up overhead and catching it quite nonchalantly. It was in fact a toy for all to see setting everyone at ease – there was no danger to any life. Just when people began to wonder where it was going a wooden table was brought in; and a few of his people joining from the sidelines climbed atop and jumped up and down like they were standing on hot bricks, no one knew why. Were they trying hard to crash the table and failing? The pehalwan holding the baby effortlessly in one hand walked up casually gesturing them to get off. Once the table was clear, he dusted the top with his towel and showing great care and concern laid the baby on its back on the table, seemingly ending the frivolous miming act that no one really understood or even cared.

And perhaps readying himself for his second act, the pehalwan stood a little to the front of the table, taking time to wipe copious sweat streaming off his body. For the first time a few of the onlookers were intrigued – all that sweat in playing with a toy?

Suddenly there was sound like something was crumbling. Next moment they all saw the table crashing down and the baby landing with a thud bringing in a rush the people  who had earlier stomped on the table. They struggled to lift the baby out of the pile of splintered wood. They could not. They devised a rope around its waist and tried to pull with more men joining in to help. The baby wouldn’t budge. All this while the pehalwan stood unperturbed, his face slowly breaking into a hint of a smile.  Finally he stepped forward and shoving aside his men grabbed the baby by its crown and held it aloft on his palm for all to see like it was no more than a soft-toy.

When the penny dropped – this was no ordinary baby to defy the utmost exertions of many and neither was the pehalwan’s feat – he earned a generous round of applause.
And so followed many acts of sheer physical strength that left his audience awe-struck. Like carrying a human pyramid on his shoulders, holding back Raya’s chariot pulled by his prized horses…More than once Raya was seen to be enjoying himself visibly conveying his appreciation. And, so were his guests.

A great show-man he was, the pehalwan played out his acts knowing well how to ratchet up the tempo to a crescendo in a cycle only to be followed by another cycle more challenging, and another, keeping his audience right through on the edge of their seats.
In a final act, he lifted a massive cannon ball of iron and heaved it straight off the palace gardens (of course, landing safely).

As the ovation died down, it was time for Raya to honor the performer suitably and reward the pehalwan with gifts.

Just then, Tenali Raman got up from his seat.

‘My lord, I’ve a small request to make of our esteemed guest. I’m sure it would be easily accomplished compared to the awesome display we saw today.’

The pehalwan confusedly looked at Raya.

Raya gave his nod.

‘Thank you, my lord, for your kind indulgence,’ Raman bowed.

‘It’s like this. Here it is, no cannon ball, only a small piece of cloth. I would like to see it thrown across this stream only a few feet wide. That’s all,’ Raman offered it to the pehalwan with insincere deference.

It was an artificial stream arranged to flow through the garden, fed from the fountains.

Too full of himself with the adulation showered on him, the pehalwan, seemingly exasperated  at the ridiculousness of the exercise, snatched the piece of cloth without a thought from Raman’s hand, made a mock show of bending down under its weight and then, crushing it in his hand, threw it across the stream with all his might as it were. He felt it was quite beneath him to even turn around to check on the outcome. Alas, for him, the piece of cloth, as it would, sailed through the air no further than a couple of feet  before being blown adrift by the mild breeze and dropping down in a crazy swirl into the stream.

Raman was at hand giving the stunned pehalwan another piece of cloth. Again, the result was no different. It was then the pehalwan realized the impossibility of the situation and his own folly in making the attempts.

When a third piece was offered, he shoved it back into Raman’s hands with a gesture that said: ‘All right, Smarty, I got suckered in.  It’s now your turn; try getting out of it, eh?’

Raman was clumsy dropping  the piece of cloth to the ground. He then picked it up, rolled it into a ball, muttered some mantra’s and sent it across the stream. And lo, there it sailed all the way like a cannon ball landing on the far side almost going out of sight.

How did he do it? When and from whom did he learn mantra’s? Raya was dazed as everyone was. The pehalwan fared the worst looking like someone punched him hard in his gut knocking him out of breath.

But first things first. A large-hearted and wise Raya did not allow Raman’s side-show to take the shine off the pehalwan’s hitherto awesome display of muscle power, bestowing on him the honors, words of praise and gifts rightly due to him. A mortified pehalwan made his peace with Raman – no use crossing swords with a guy who pulls potent mantra’s from his scabbard.

It was then Raman leaked out the secret of his mantra’s – there was no mantra’s, no secret. The ball of cloth that he threw across the stream had a pebble inside making the flight perfectly possible. He had picked it up along with the cloth that he had dropped on purpose.

Why did Raman let the cat out of the bag?

If it were not debunked at the earlies, he feared, people including Raya would want him on occasions to invoke those and other mantra’s for causes right or wrong. He would be held up to ridicule for failures, much worse, his loyalty questioned, despite his protestations of innocence and ignorance.

At this the pehalwan could not help laughing over his own imbecility and Raman’s wit. Preparing to leave the town, he gifted his emblematic silver bracelet to Raman and invited him to his home-land to learn from him some real mantra’s.

End 

Source: www, animationxpress.com

I’ll Be Happy To Know You Didn’t Get It Either!!

No great shakes?

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There are ten people in a house. Everybody wants to make a hand shake with only people shorter than themselves. Assume everybody is different in height.

How many hand shakes are made?

I’ve already given it away!! Go to ‘Comments’ if you still wish to know.

End

 

 

From: braingle.com (beijing200820) and clipartix.com

Utter Momsense

Listen-to-your-Ranting-Mom Kanigas

‘Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?’

‘You’re going out?’

‘Yes.’

‘With whom?’

‘With a friend.’

‘I don’t know why you left your husband. He is such a good man.’

‘I didn’t leave him. He left me!’

‘You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybody and nobody.’

‘I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?’

‘I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.’

‘There are lots of things that you did and I don’t.’

‘What are you hinting at?’

‘Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.’

‘You’re going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?’

‘My EX husband. I don’t think he would be bothered. From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!’

‘So you’re going to sleep over at this loser’s place?’

‘He’s not a loser.’

‘A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.’

‘I don’t want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?’

‘Poor children with such a mother.’

‘Such as what?’

‘With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.’

‘ENOUGH !!’

‘Don’t scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!’

‘Now you’re worried about the loser?’

‘Ah, so you see he’s a loser. I spotted him immediately.’

‘Goodbye, mother.’

‘Wait! Don’t hang up! When are you bringing them over?’

‘I’m not bringing them over! I’m not going out!’

‘If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?’

End

 

 

Source: Image from Kanigas

When Vidakandan Meets Kodakandan…A Story For Children

Kodakandan was known for not giving away while Vidakandan, his perfect foil, for not giving up.

A number of tales hang around the two just as with Akbar and Birbal, Tenali Raman and Krishnadeva Raya….

This one is about one of their earliest encounters before they teamed up in activities that never did their mothers proud:

The annual fair attracted large number of visitors as always, mainly farmers, from neighboring villages.

The business was brisk for the traders in stalls peddling their wares – clothes, toys, utensils, appliances, groceries…And there were other attractions too – fancy photo-shoots, games and rides and eateries.

Like dog attracts fleas, so these fairs pulled both the Kandan’s prospecting for easy meal.

This time, Kodakandan set himself up like a vaidya (medical practitioner) offering rare herbs and medicines to cure a variety of ailments from common cold to terminal cancer.  He put up a sign outside that said: “Baba from the Himalaya’s: Get your treatment for Rs 50, and if not cured, get back Rs 100!” The lure was risk-free for him  simply because he usually prescribed a treatment that would run for several months to show while the fare wound up within ten days; whence he would ostensibly ‘return’ to his habitat in the Himalaya’s to continue with his research and meditation.

On the second day of the fair, by a quirk of fate, Vidakandan found himself standing in front of Kodakandan’s table and tent, reading the sign. This was god-sent it seemed after an unusually prolonged dry spell of no ‘fish’.

He went in seizing the chance with two hands: ‘Anna, I’ve lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?’

‘Not after you’ve come to me, Thambi (little brother). Kutta, please bring medicine from the green bottle and put three drops in his mouth.’

‘Aaagh!! — This is kerosene!’

‘Congratulations!  I told you – you’ve got your taste back. That will be fifty rupees.’

An annoyed Vidakandan went back the next day after a sleepless night figuring to recover his money.

‘I’ve lost my memory, Anna. I can’t remember much.’

‘Kutta, please bring medicine from the blue bottle and put three drops in the patient’s mouth.’

‘Oh, no, you don’t, that’s kerosene!’

‘Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back! That will be fifty rupees.’

Vidakandan left angrily and came back after a couple of days, more determined than ever to settle scores with Kodakandan.

‘Anna, your medicines are a miracle. My eyesight has become weak – I can hardly see anything! I’m sure I can get it back with your help.’

‘As long as you have a fifty on you, Thambi, there isn’t much this Anna cannot handle. Kutta, bring medicine from the red bottle and put three drops in his eyes.’

‘I still can’t see anything, Anna, Please do something.’

‘Just hold. Kutta, bring medicine from the yellow bottle and put three drops into his eyes.’

‘Anna, it’s no better…’

This went on for two more rounds apparently doing little to improve Vidakandan’s eye sight.

A crest fallen Kodakandan finally admitted: ‘Well, I don’t seem to have the right medicine for your eyes presently. As promised, here are your hundred rupees.’

‘But this is only a fiver…’

‘I knew the medicine was right. Only you were getting a little impatient. Congratulations! You can see now.  That will be fifty rupees.’

Vidakandan knew he was licked. He would rather wait for his day.

End

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source: Inspired by Jerry Lambert

Kids Speak: How Can You Tell If Two People Are Married?

yelling.jpg.CROP.cq5dam_web_1280_1280_jpeg slate

 

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

– Derrick, age 8

 

End

 

 

Source: Nidokidos.com, slate.com

 

Why Great Men Are No Longer Born In India?

You don’t have to look far for the reason. It stares in your eyes if you keep them open.

All because of successive Indian Governments aggressively pursuing Family Planning initiatives, particularly Narendra Modi’s.

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We didn’t have the tools before. Now thanks to Big Data, we know:

Mahathma Gandhi was the son of the fourth wife of his father.

Babasaheb  Ambedkar was the 14th issue of his father.

Ravindranath Tagore was also the 14th issue of his father.

Subash Chandra Bose was the 9th among the 14 siblings.

Swami Vivekananda was the 6th among the 10 siblings.

So, folks, if our children are where they’re in life, it’s not their (un)doing:-)

You know who to blame!

And all this science-speak of sperms and eggs degrading with age…

End

 

Source: Received thru whatsApp; veracity not checked.

A Cure For Baldness (A Children’s Story)

Raja bald

One day as he stood before the mirror, the Raja of Rangapuram was dismayed to find hair on his head thinning rather rapidly. At this pace he would go completely bald in a matter of a few months. Would his subjects then look at his stately presence with the same awe? This was serious.

He immediately called the Royal Vaidhya (the medicine man) for consultation. The Vaidya ingenuously advised the Raja there was no real cure for recovering the lost ground. The Raja would not take no for an answer. He instructed the Vaidhya to assemble all the medicine men of standing in the kingdom and find a solution. Else the Vaidhya would spend time with them in jail.

So very discreetly the message went out to all parts of Rangapuram calling seasoned medicine men to report at the Vaidhya’s house.

And when they did assemble, the Vaidhya explained the predicament.

Within minutes they all agreed with the Vaidhya’s assessment. But the mulish Raja would not be convinced. The threat of being jailed preyed on their mind. They even took breaks to see if any fresh ideas emerged on possible line of treatment.

No help.

Now their main worry was how to escape incarceration much less find a cure the Raja’s ‘affliction’. They scratched their heads to no avail.

At this time, a young man stood up. Who let him in? He seemed too raw to be amidst them. And not just that – he even claimed quite preposterously he had a solution.

He drew a round derisive laughter and a cynical ‘Is that so?’

Not ready to be put down, he continued: ’I’m quite serious. I can bail us all out of trouble.’

A resigned voice perfunctorily inquired: ’Mind telling us how?’

‘I’m sorry it can’t be any other way. I can share my cure only with the Raja himself in person.’

Not even a ripple. Despair induced weariness all around.

‘Believe me, it’ll work. Take me to the Raja and see for yourself. You’ll thank me for it.’

More silence.

Finally the Vaidhya spoke: ‘I say, let’s do like he says. What have got to lose? It can’t get any worse.’

‘Oh, it can. When the Raja figures out we got a rookie to treat him, there’ll be heads to pay.’

The medicine men did not warm up the Vaidhya’s suggestion.

Finally it was decided the Vaidhya would by himself take the young man to the Raja on the following day and others would stay back at the Vaidhya’s house and await their fate that presently appeared far from sanguine.

The Vaidhya sought and obtained a private audience with the Raja and introduced the young man with whatever little enthusiasm he could muster.

One look at the young man and the Raja was not pleased. Only the Vaidhya’s fervent plea for his continued indulgence saved the young man from being thrown out right away.

The cold reception did nothing to disconcert the young man.

On cue he spoke up: ‘My Lord, I’m certain I’ve a solution to your agony.’

It elicited a low-key disinterested grunt. A bee buzzing a rose in the garden hogged the Raja’s attention.

‘Sir, I’ve this potion made of rare herbs’ extracts. This must be applied every morning on the head an hour before bath. This imposition, agreeably inconvenient, would not be for more than four weeks. For some even ten days were good enough. Why, my own grandfather would vouch for it if he was here. He used it on his mirror-shine dome for only two weeks and…’

‘And what…’ the Raja leaned forward, mildly piqued. The bee was out of sight.

‘Sir, unfortunately, he died fracturing his skull…he tripped on the lush locks of hair that cascaded down from his crown like Ganges from Lord Shiva’s’.

The young man then turned to the Vaidhya: ‘Sir, you may want to recall the royal barber and ask him to be ready with his blades and scissors.’

His bravado finally found its mark.

What was he prattling? It was all unbelievable, almost like magic, the Raja thought. And he also claimed there was even someone to vouch for all of it, never mind the beneficiary wasn’t presently availableWell, the young man looked innocent and so incapable of lying. There must be something in itThe boy dare not pull a scam on the Raja for he would certainly know what the consequences would be, if he didNo harm in giving it a try.

The Raja not entirely without apprehension took the proffered potion, issued a stern warning against charlatanry and dismissed the audience of two with an agenda to review the situation after two weeks.

As he was being shown out, the young man turned to the Raja: ‘I’m sorry I missed telling you this, Sir. A condition for the potion to be effective. Trivial, so trivial I find it embarrassing to even mention it. But I must. You would find the results gratifying only if you do not do not think of a monkey when applying it on your head. Really, a cinch for you, Sir. Calls for far less effort than shooing away a fly that dares to sit on the royal nose.’

Somber mood prevailing, his flippancy was roundly ignored.

Next morning, the Raja took out the potion like some jewel from a secret cache. As he began applying on his head, he remembered the young man’s injunction. And with it a monkey entered his mind. This wasn’t going to work, he was warned. He decided to break off distracting himself for a while with the affairs of his kingdom. When he returned after an hour to his potion, the monkey too returned. He didn’t know if it was the same one, they’ll looked so much alike.

Try as he might, the monkey was equally stubborn. And when it did go away for a moment, its place was taken by one of its brethren.

What was to be a child’s play now turned into a monkey sport, certainly not the entertaining kind.

So much so it was threatening to become an obsession with the Raja even at other times, adversely and often hilariously affecting his public and personal image and life, the monkey becoming the sole tenant of his mind. Within a few days, the officials at the royal court were quite worried the Raja may soon become unhinged. Should they call in exorcists? The risk was word may get around.

The Royal Vaidhya was one who could think through clearly yet. He summoned the young man and angrily asked him if he had cast a spell on their Raja. If the monkey was not taken out at the earliest, he would personally arrange for the young man to be hanged in public, nay, in private.

‘And leave the monkey with the Raja forever? Don’t be foolish. Take me to the Raja,’ the young man wasn’t perturbed. His demeanor hinted the proceedings were not entirely unexpected.

He saw the Raja, a barely recognizable shadow of his old stately self, desperately in need of help.

‘Dear Sir, there’s nothing wrong with you at all, I assure you. I’ll get you all right in a moment. All you’ve to do is to throw away the potion and say, standing in front of the mirror, ‘I don’t need you at all now or ever. I’m good and happy as is.’ ‘

So the monkey was drawn out finally and laid to rest.

Everyone in the know sighed in relief the medicine men included.

The Vaidhya arranged a job for the young man in the palace just in case

End  

 

 

Source: Adapted from tamil-kutti-kathaikal.blogspot.in, thanks to N Udayakumar.

PS: Some new words are thrown in for children’s vocabulary enrichment.