You’ve Offended The Quiz-Master…

He’s out to get you:

tumblr_o181lq817A1u0l7mmo1_500

 

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Source: funnygifs123.wordpress.com

 

This Candy Passes…

easily the most stringent and ‘green’ test devised by FDA  for sugar.

 

Best Sugar Free candy ad ever made.

 

End

 

 

Source: Satabanta.com

Santa Is Brave

 

Santa was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit.

Santa

The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!”

“Oh, that’s okay,” said Santa from the witness stand. “I don’t mind answering the question.”

“I object!” the defense said again.

“No, really,” said Santa. “I’ll answer.”

The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object.”

So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

Santa replied brightly, “I don’t know!”

End

 

 

Source: Ray Mitchell at raykiwsp.wordpress.com and image from santabanta.com

 

Trading Puns

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End

 

 

Source: funnygifs123.wordpress.com

Sandalwood

So I accepted the situation my husband presented to me: after 17 years of marriage, years in which I had stayed home in London to look after the children, he had discovered that he was homosexual. The timing couldn’t

Source: Sandalwood

What Do Men Care

 

what else is on tv

 

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If You Are Sore With Your Lawyer…

this will cheer you up.

495632339 work.chron com

A doctor can’t find a job in a hospital, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside:

‘Get treatment for $20 – If not cured get back $100’.

A lawyer is unable to resist the temptation to earn an easy 100 bucks, so he goes to the clinic.

Lawyer:  “I have lost my sense of taste”

Doctor:  “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient’s mouth”

Lawyer:  “Ugh…this is kerosene”

Doctor:  “Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20”

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money…

Lawyer:  “I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything”

Doctor:  “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth”

Lawyer (annoyed):  “This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste”

Doctor: “Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20”

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer:  “My eyesight has become very weak I can’t see at all ”

Doctor:  “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100”

Lawyer (staring at the note): “But this is $20, not $100”

Doctor:  “Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20”


Now start thinking…get ideas?

End

 

Source: Vidya Dwaraknath and image from work.chron.com

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