When Stooping Low Is Fine!

This is based on a snippet that appeared years, rather decades, ago in Reader’s Digest:

Scene: In a shopping aisle of a retail store

A cute old lady sighted a cheaper box of detergent, a brand sourced locally by the store and hence stocked on the top shelf – it was the industry practice. These local brands introduced at the initiative of the store managers usually do not have the budget for more favourable spots.

Not the lady in the anecdote though. See her in the clip below:-)

She went right up and pressing herself against the shelf, taking care not to topple merchandise off the lower shelves, and put out her hands. No luck, she was still many inches short. Raising her heels a little also did not help.

She stepped back in disappointment and stood there wondering what next.

Just then another customer, a tall man, seeing her brief struggle, walked down the aisle to her.

Looking at where her gaze went, he easily reached and pulled out the box from its high perch and handed it over. It was she needed just one.

The lady thanked him gratefully. Feeling compelled to do more, she turned to him:

“Would you be needing anything from here?”

She was pointing at the bottom shelves for him.

**

While some encounters go like this:

or here.

End

Source: vidmo.com

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When An Unstoppable Force Meets An Immovable Object…A Deposition You Wouldn’t Want To Miss!

First, the story:

From a report filed by Laura Johnston, cleveland.com (edited for brevity and easier reading):

Cuyahoga County loses copier case; spent $55,000 in tax dollars on losing effort

Updated Feb 29, 2012; Posted Feb 29, 2012

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Cuyahoga County violated state law for two years by trying to charge more than $200,000 for CDs loaded with copies of property records, the Ohio Supreme Court ruled Wednesday.

The dispute dates to November 2010, when two title information companies sued then-county Recorder Lillian Greene over her policy of charging $2 a page for property records contained on a CD.

The companies argued the county must provide copies of master CDs — which the county makes each day to backup digital images of documents recorded — at cost, as required the state’s public records law.

Greene and her staff based their charges on a state law that requires a $2-per-page fee to photocopy or fax documents. Based on that law, they argued that CDs containing copies of 104,000 pages of records should cost $208,000.

“A copy is a copy is a copy,” attorney David Movius, whom the county hired to fight the suit, said last year.

The high court said in a 7-0 decision that the county must provide CDs of recorded deeds and mortgages for $1, ending a dispute that cost county taxpayers as much as $55,000 in legal fees and garnered international attention because of a county employee’s verbal acrobatics in defining the word “photocopier” during a deposition.

Greene was removed from office by a charter voters approved in 2009. But when county Executive Ed FitzGerald took office in January 2011, he continued to defend Greene’s position.

On Wednesday, county Law Director Majeed Makhlouf defended the decision to continue fighting the lawsuit, arguing that state law governing records is confusing.

“You needed clarity on the law,” Makhlouf said. “The county had already spent so much money. We thought, let’s get it clarified once and for all.”

But the seven Supreme Court justices found no confusion.

“There is no conflict, much less an irreconcilable one,” the court wrote in its opinion. “In cases in which photocopying physical pages of recorded documents is requested, a county recorder shall charge $2 per page… In cases in which CDs containing electronically recorded documents are requested, the county recorder shall charge the actual cost of the copies.”

The ruling says the county’s argument “lacks merit.”

The definition of photocopy was a highlight of the case.

Lawrence Patterson, then the acting head of information technology for the recorder’s division of the county fiscal office, testified that he could not say if photocopiers had ever been used in the office.

“When you say ‘photocopying machine,’ what do you mean?” asked Patterson, when questioned by Marburger.

Patterson still works for the county, making $65,000 a year.

Marburger said he was not exasperated in the least unlike his counterpart in the clip: “I actually wanted [Patterson] to keep up what I perceived as a charade. Once he chose the path that he took, I didn’t want a straight answer; I wanted him to keep it going. That was why I kept pushing over the course of 10 pages of transcript. To me, the testimony became too good to be true. It was perfect.”

He also said that Patterson wasn’t the slightest bit intimidated in real life. Marburger used the absurd testimony to win the case, and the court unanimously agreed that they only charge $1 per CD moving forward.

Now, for the deposition:

The video clip included below is a dramatization of the deposition verbatim!

If the clip does not show up, watch here:

**

A few interesting user comments:

Warped #####: An argument so absurd it could have only happened in real life.

####### S-6: Wow! That was one of the longest Xerox commercials I’ve ever seen! If advertising was as good as this, it wouldn’t be so irritating! (Too bad it really wasn’t an Ad)

Cr####: This witness is perfect. Every defense attorney could only dream. What an apparatchik….dude understands the law better than the prosecutor.

######212000: Don’t worry guys. The lawyers weren’t really that upset. They charge over 500 dollars an hour…

#### Mission: And that’s why I murdered the witness, your honor!

Brik ####: pho·to·cop·i·er – Dictionary result for photocopier /ˈfōdōˌkäpēər/ noun a machine for making photocopies.

Naji###: This is also how my IT job feels like from time to time.

MR1#####: gas powered photocopier?

**

Here’s a deposition of a different kind for you to enjoy:

If the clip does not appear, see it here. She speaks (gibberish) like she understood what her dad is telling her!

End

Can You Spot It?

Something interesting here, I thought, though not the kind to set Ganges on fire.

This is a picture taken by B, an ex-colleague. a friend, a nature lover, an ace shooter…with his camera, a cook who loves to experiment, a reviewer of eateries, etc. etc.

Location: Chembur.

To me, it is interesting to see this winged fellow picking twigs for the nest, all of uniform girth, neither too thick and stiff or too thin and breakable as if there exists some engineering specification!

End

What Are Men, BF, Husbands Like!

**

**

A cyclone hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning.

It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping.  By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over.

The wife was sobbing uncontrollably.  “Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said.  “We’re not hurt.”

Mary continued to cry.  “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs.  “I’m happy…  this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”

**

**

Wife leaves a note on the fridge: “I have made all attempts. It’s not working. 
I can’t take it anymore. I am going to stay at my Mom’s place!!  😡 😥

Husband opens the fridge, checks the beer bottle. Feels it is cold. He takes a few big gulps from the bottle. Feels it is chilled.

Then says to himself, “What the hell is she talking about??? Fridge is working fine!!”

**

**

End

Source: 100% சிரிப்பு இலவசம் , Santabanta.com, Quora, Usha Narayanan and rays-daily.com/

Did He Get It Right?

Real-life fiction:

**

Time and place: Morning at the temple.

It was goshti time after receiving theertham (sacred water) and sadari.

[Goshti is when at the end of morning rituals, prasadam, usually thayir sadam (curd rice) is distributed to the assembled on plates or small bowls (dhonnai’s) fashioned out of leaves stitched together]

Many sat down and some of us with stiff joints stood to one side.

One of the staff (kiankaryaparars) distributed the dhonnai’s to all in the assembly to receive prasadam (a small part of the food offered to the god is returned to the devotees with blessings).

The cook in his traditional attire followed him from the kitchen carrying on his hip an anda (a big brass vessel) containing thayir sadam. With practiced efficiency, starting at one end of the small arc, he took a handful of sadam, dropped it into the first dhonnai held out, quickly moving on to the next man and to the next…

When he came to G – I see him once in a while at the temple – standing next to me, I noticed him slowing down with a deference, not par for a goshti, and a hint of a smile on his face. And the recipient acknowledging it by gesture and nod.

As the cook moved on to where ladies were, I asked in hushed voice: ‘What gives?’

G whispered back: ‘Only yesterday…he wanted some monetary help for his daughter’s college fees studying back in the South. I gave him’

‘Oh,’ so that was it.

Distribution over, the goshti was dismissed.

As we did the customary pradakshinam (circumambulating the sanctum) together, completing the last round, G went up to ring the kitchen bell!

When the cook came out, he asked if there would be some extra thayir sadam available.

A little strange, it was. This man many a times walked away without waiting for the goshti and the prasadam. And when he did stand in, he would specially request for a small portion. And today, he took it in full in the goshti and now was asking for more!

What was the matter? Perhaps he’s taking it for some guests visiting him?

He saw my nonplussed look and made a gesture for me to hold.

The cook, a bit surprised likewise, appeared too happy to oblige him.

A short while later he returned with a neatly wrapped and tied parcel.

As he handed it over, I noticed – the cook appeared pleased with himself and his demeanor going back to the formal, what it was always, without the deference, even if only a wee bit, displayed visibly earlier in the goshti! Not that he was rude, at any time.

Something nagged me nevertheless. Was gratitude so evanescent?

As we exited the temple, G turned to me: ‘I see you noticed it. Upset?’

Wasn’t he upset? And, here he’s asking me if I were.

Didn’t feel up to responding.

‘You see, my friend, I certainly did a favour to him, he too did one to me, whatever was within his capacity. Now the ledger is balanced, his self-respect has re-asserted itself.’

Weird! Interesting! Is that how it works? No student of human psychology and behaviour, could not agree or differ with G’s insight and intelligence in this matter.

Now outside the temple we were ready to part.

‘Here, take this, I’ve no use for it. Am single,’ he thrust the parcel into my hands and took off leaving me standing.  

When he was a few steps gone, he turned to me: ‘Don’t lose your peace over it, my friend. That’s precisely why I asked for it!’

May be, before I meet him next, I will have sorted this out in my head.

End

Source. deskgram.net

A Matter Of Give And Take

A real-life fiction:

**

Dinner time.

Bhindi (okra), again?

No surprises there – the girl was asked to eat vegetables. A short sermon on importance of the greens for her health, as always, fell on un-listening ears. For, it is bhindi tonight, spinach yesterday…yuk, and not potatoes, yummy. These folks never seem to understand or ask – it wasn’t she didn’t like vegetables. It was just that cauliflower and cabbage smelled, bhindi sticky, beet-root scary scarlet, spinach sticking between her teeth, beans tasteless, peas squishy, carrot hard to bite…and heaven knows why potatoes didn’t count? By the way, aren’t there any green potatoes? Why, she liked cucumber too, in the raw.

Finally on the promise of a cup of her favorite ice-cream, the task was accomplished……like how – her eyes closed, face screwed into a grimace, the morsel put out on the tongue like vom## and then taken in, mostly swallowed…

All done and over with, they – the father and the girl – set off to the market, he had some chores to complete, she to claim her reward.  

At the shop, another scene was averted – fortunately the mango flavor was in stock. Gleefully consumed – some, dribbling from the corner of her mouth, onto the counter.

On their way back – the girl in good cheer – he paused at a street-side vendor’s and got two vada-paav’s with dry and wet chutney’s parceled.

The girl looked at her father quizzingly.

‘There’s a sight-impaired young man near the bus-shelter. Whenever I come this way, I usually get this or samosas for him.’

Her face did not clear completely.

The father knew enough to add: ‘On the days I don’t, may be the vendors give him or someone else like us buys him something to eat – I don’t think he starves.’

The girl became more at ease – if her father said the man did not starve, it must be so – and soon was distracted.

**

At the bus-shelter, there he was on the bench.

The hot vada-paav’s were given and accepted gratefully.

The girl looking on nervously keeping herself on father’s far side.

The deed done, the two quickened their steps homewards.

Nearer home, the girl broke her silence: ‘Appa, how do you know he likes vada-paav and samosa’s? Asked him?’

**

The following days saw new sources located for idli/vada and roti/sabji.

End

Source: Image from hungrydeal.com

Chuckles

Thanks to Usha Narayanan:

**

In Delhi, people don’t know Which Car to take out today.

In Dubai, people don’t know Which Wife to take out today.

In Vegas, they don’t know Whose Wife to take out today.

Different Countries, Different Problems!!😜

Best is…In Bangalore, People don’t know Which Road to take to reach office today..😄

**

During Annual Health Checkup in a Company, two employees were found to have normal blood pressure and normal blood sugar.

Both were terminated for not putting in their full efforts.

**

Husband:  Tomorrow is your birthday. What gift would you like ?

Wife: A giraffe!

Husband: Darling, please be reasonable. Where do I get a giraffe from? Ask for something that is possible.

Wife: Ok, then give up drinking. That you can do and I’ll accept it as a good gift.

So next day…… 👇

**

(caution: gross)

Boss : Muthuswamy, for 30 years you have been bringing me coffee, filled to the brim, without even spilling a drop. How do you manage that over these stairs?

Muthu: Sir, before I climb up the stairs I take a big sip. When I get upstairs, I put it back!

Yikes!

Muthu’s Farewell Party is tomorrow…….😁

**

Finally, watch this clip – don’t miss this one:

1. Duck from Germany
2. Cat from Korea
3. Saroja from India

If the clip does not appear above, watch it here.

**

End

PS: There are reports on the net saying the German clip is doctored.