February 9, 2016 1 Comment
He’s out to get you:
Just another WordPress.com weblog
February 1, 2016 Leave a comment
Santa was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit.
The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”
“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!”
“Oh, that’s okay,” said Santa from the witness stand. “I don’t mind answering the question.”
“I object!” the defense said again.
“No, really,” said Santa. “I’ll answer.”
The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object.”
So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?”
Santa replied brightly, “I don’t know!”
Source: Ray Mitchell at raykiwsp.wordpress.com and image from santabanta.com
January 19, 2016 4 Comments
this will cheer you up.
A doctor can’t find a job in a hospital, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside:
‘Get treatment for $20 – If not cured get back $100’.
A lawyer is unable to resist the temptation to earn an easy 100 bucks, so he goes to the clinic.
Lawyer: “I have lost my sense of taste”
Doctor: “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient’s mouth”
Lawyer: “Ugh…this is kerosene”
Doctor: “Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20”
The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money…
Lawyer: “I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything”
Doctor: “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth”
Lawyer (annoyed): “This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste”
Doctor: “Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20”
The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.
Lawyer: “My eyesight has become very weak I can’t see at all ”
Doctor: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100”
Lawyer (staring at the note): “But this is $20, not $100”
Doctor: “Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20”
Now start thinking…get ideas?
Source: Vidya Dwaraknath and image from work.chron.com