When Stooping Low Is Fine!

This is based on a snippet that appeared years, rather decades, ago in Reader’s Digest:

Scene: In a shopping aisle of a retail store

A cute old lady sighted a cheaper box of detergent, a brand sourced locally by the store and hence stocked on the top shelf – it was the industry practice. These local brands introduced at the initiative of the store managers usually do not have the budget for more favourable spots.

Not the lady in the anecdote though. See her in the clip below:-)

She went right up and pressing herself against the shelf, taking care not to topple merchandise off the lower shelves, and put out her hands. No luck, she was still many inches short. Raising her heels a little also did not help.

She stepped back in disappointment and stood there wondering what next.

Just then another customer, a tall man, seeing her brief struggle, walked down the aisle to her.

Looking at where her gaze went, he easily reached and pulled out the box from its high perch and handed it over. It was she needed just one.

The lady thanked him gratefully. Feeling compelled to do more, she turned to him:

“Would you be needing anything from here?”

She was pointing at the bottom shelves for him.

**

While some encounters go like this:

or here.

End

Source: vidmo.com

Advertisements

When An Unstoppable Force Meets An Immovable Object…A Deposition You Wouldn’t Want To Miss!

First, the story:

From a report filed by Laura Johnston, cleveland.com (edited for brevity and easier reading):

Cuyahoga County loses copier case; spent $55,000 in tax dollars on losing effort

Updated Feb 29, 2012; Posted Feb 29, 2012

CLEVELAND, Ohio — Cuyahoga County violated state law for two years by trying to charge more than $200,000 for CDs loaded with copies of property records, the Ohio Supreme Court ruled Wednesday.

The dispute dates to November 2010, when two title information companies sued then-county Recorder Lillian Greene over her policy of charging $2 a page for property records contained on a CD.

The companies argued the county must provide copies of master CDs — which the county makes each day to backup digital images of documents recorded — at cost, as required the state’s public records law.

Greene and her staff based their charges on a state law that requires a $2-per-page fee to photocopy or fax documents. Based on that law, they argued that CDs containing copies of 104,000 pages of records should cost $208,000.

“A copy is a copy is a copy,” attorney David Movius, whom the county hired to fight the suit, said last year.

The high court said in a 7-0 decision that the county must provide CDs of recorded deeds and mortgages for $1, ending a dispute that cost county taxpayers as much as $55,000 in legal fees and garnered international attention because of a county employee’s verbal acrobatics in defining the word “photocopier” during a deposition.

Greene was removed from office by a charter voters approved in 2009. But when county Executive Ed FitzGerald took office in January 2011, he continued to defend Greene’s position.

On Wednesday, county Law Director Majeed Makhlouf defended the decision to continue fighting the lawsuit, arguing that state law governing records is confusing.

“You needed clarity on the law,” Makhlouf said. “The county had already spent so much money. We thought, let’s get it clarified once and for all.”

But the seven Supreme Court justices found no confusion.

“There is no conflict, much less an irreconcilable one,” the court wrote in its opinion. “In cases in which photocopying physical pages of recorded documents is requested, a county recorder shall charge $2 per page… In cases in which CDs containing electronically recorded documents are requested, the county recorder shall charge the actual cost of the copies.”

The ruling says the county’s argument “lacks merit.”

The definition of photocopy was a highlight of the case.

Lawrence Patterson, then the acting head of information technology for the recorder’s division of the county fiscal office, testified that he could not say if photocopiers had ever been used in the office.

“When you say ‘photocopying machine,’ what do you mean?” asked Patterson, when questioned by Marburger.

Patterson still works for the county, making $65,000 a year.

Marburger said he was not exasperated in the least unlike his counterpart in the clip: “I actually wanted [Patterson] to keep up what I perceived as a charade. Once he chose the path that he took, I didn’t want a straight answer; I wanted him to keep it going. That was why I kept pushing over the course of 10 pages of transcript. To me, the testimony became too good to be true. It was perfect.”

He also said that Patterson wasn’t the slightest bit intimidated in real life. Marburger used the absurd testimony to win the case, and the court unanimously agreed that they only charge $1 per CD moving forward.

Now, for the deposition:

The video clip included below is a dramatization of the deposition verbatim!

If the clip does not show up, watch here:

**

A few interesting user comments:

Warped #####: An argument so absurd it could have only happened in real life.

####### S-6: Wow! That was one of the longest Xerox commercials I’ve ever seen! If advertising was as good as this, it wouldn’t be so irritating! (Too bad it really wasn’t an Ad)

Cr####: This witness is perfect. Every defense attorney could only dream. What an apparatchik….dude understands the law better than the prosecutor.

######212000: Don’t worry guys. The lawyers weren’t really that upset. They charge over 500 dollars an hour…

#### Mission: And that’s why I murdered the witness, your honor!

Brik ####: pho·to·cop·i·er – Dictionary result for photocopier /ˈfōdōˌkäpēər/ noun a machine for making photocopies.

Naji###: This is also how my IT job feels like from time to time.

MR1#####: gas powered photocopier?

**

Here’s a deposition of a different kind for you to enjoy:

If the clip does not appear, see it here. She speaks (gibberish) like she understood what her dad is telling her!

End

What Are Men, BF, Husbands Like!

**

**

A cyclone hit a Kansas farmhouse just before dawn one morning.

It tore off the roof, and picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept were sleeping.  By some miracle, the cyclone set them down unharmed the next county over.

The wife was sobbing uncontrollably.  “Don’t be scared, Mary,” her husband said.  “We’re not hurt.”

Mary continued to cry.  “I’m not scared,” she said between sobs.  “I’m happy…  this is the first time in 14 years we’ve been out together.”

**

**

Wife leaves a note on the fridge: “I have made all attempts. It’s not working. 
I can’t take it anymore. I am going to stay at my Mom’s place!!  😡 😥

Husband opens the fridge, checks the beer bottle. Feels it is cold. He takes a few big gulps from the bottle. Feels it is chilled.

Then says to himself, “What the hell is she talking about??? Fridge is working fine!!”

**

**

End

Source: 100% சிரிப்பு இலவசம் , Santabanta.com, Quora, Usha Narayanan and rays-daily.com/

Chuckles

Thanks to Usha Narayanan:

**

In Delhi, people don’t know Which Car to take out today.

In Dubai, people don’t know Which Wife to take out today.

In Vegas, they don’t know Whose Wife to take out today.

Different Countries, Different Problems!!😜

Best is…In Bangalore, People don’t know Which Road to take to reach office today..😄

**

During Annual Health Checkup in a Company, two employees were found to have normal blood pressure and normal blood sugar.

Both were terminated for not putting in their full efforts.

**

Husband:  Tomorrow is your birthday. What gift would you like ?

Wife: A giraffe!

Husband: Darling, please be reasonable. Where do I get a giraffe from? Ask for something that is possible.

Wife: Ok, then give up drinking. That you can do and I’ll accept it as a good gift.

So next day…… 👇

**

(caution: gross)

Boss : Muthuswamy, for 30 years you have been bringing me coffee, filled to the brim, without even spilling a drop. How do you manage that over these stairs?

Muthu: Sir, before I climb up the stairs I take a big sip. When I get upstairs, I put it back!

Yikes!

Muthu’s Farewell Party is tomorrow…….😁

**

Finally, watch this clip – don’t miss this one:

1. Duck from Germany
2. Cat from Korea
3. Saroja from India

If the clip does not appear above, watch it here.

**

End

PS: There are reports on the net saying the German clip is doctored.

Disruptive Technology

From Usha Narayan:

What is Disruptive Technology ? 

When TV came to my house. I forgot how to read books. 

When the car came to my doorstep, I forgot how to walk. 

When I got the mobile in my hand, I forgot how to write letters. 

When computer came to my house, I forgot spellings.

When AC came to my house, I stopped going under the tree for cool breeze.

When I stayed in the city, I forgot the smell of mud. 

By dealing with banks and cards, I forgot the value of money. 

With the smell of perfume, I forgot the fragrance of fresh flowers. 

With the coming of fast food, I forgot to cook traditional cuisines.

Always running around, I forgot how to stop. 

And lastly, when I got whatsapp, I forgot how to talk.

End

All The World Loves A Loser!

‘Ayushman Bharat Scheme’ is a recently announced medicare scheme:

**

An Open Door

Benjamin is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another gambler just to use the men’s room. He finds a stall that happens to be open and pockets the quarter.

Believing that his luck has finally changed, he puts the quarter in a slot machine and hits the jackpot. He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns his modest winnings into a million dollars. 

Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Benjamin goes on the lecture circuit, where he tells his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he will always be eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the man he will share his fortune with him.

After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and says, “I’m that man. I was the one who gave you the quarter.”

“Yes, I remember you well, but you aren’t the one I’m looking for. I mean the guy who left the stall door open!”

**

Jones jumped up from the card table white with rage.  “Stop this game,” he shouted, “Smith is cheating!”

“How do you know?”

“He’s not playing the hand I dealt him.”

**

End

Source: santabanta.com

Who Is The Killer? (Concluding)

(fm Brightside.com)

Monk.. …..I think the killer is #3, because

  1. She has the easiest access to the ladies bathroom
  2. She has plenty of clothes on, which would hide wounds the victim inflicted in self-defense
  3. She has a worried look on her face
  4. The killer would likely have immediately gotten a knife after getting out of the bathroom to reduce evidence (perhaps from the guy behind her)
  5. Women get more personnel when murdering someone, because they get more emotional about that than men do. So then a woman may stab the victim, but a man would instead smother them with a pillow so they wouldn’t have to see their face.

*

Donn.. ….I think it the one wearing red shirt. If you look closely enough the torn piece of his shirt is under victim. Other indicators are the victim was with the other girl. The open purse is the probably the victims. The waiter looks suspicious because he is bringing her the drink and she is gone. The girl hasn’t ordered yet Because she is waiting on her. The guy with red shirt is eating with both hands watching to see if their is any suspicions while covering up the fact he doesn’t have a knife. He is pretending to use one. Look closely to left hand. Their is nothing. He left his in the restroom.

*

Dave ….., BA applied mathematics

It appears that the murder weapon was left by the body, and it appears to be a knife.

#2 and #3 have their knives.

#1 is definitely a suspect, as we can’t see whether he still has his knife. Nor can we see whether he has blood on his clothes.

The other suspect is #4. His right hand appears to be holding a fork, as most activities with a knife require both hands, one to steady the food while the other cuts or spreads. His left hand is grasping something which could be food, but doesn’t look like a knife. He appears not to have a knife. Also, his shirt is the colour of the blood.

It might have been suicide. She doesn’t have a number, but maybe the numbers are there to mislead us. The question doesn’t mention the numbers.

Therefore it could also be the server. He doesn’t have a knife.

The door is ajar. Maybe the killer has already fled.

Wait, I’ve got it! #4 is probably eating meat. That makes him an indirect killer of an animal. But, in a sense, aren’t they all then the killer?

Back to #3: The server looks surprised to see her. Maybe she has taken the victim’s seat. Maybe that’s the victim’s purse on the table. And… her knife! Maybe the garment she’s wearing was an outer garment taken from the victim. Maybe #3 isn’t even a woman.

Nope. I need more information.

*

Neil ……..Could be #1 as you can’t see his table to establish whether he has a knife.

#2 and #3 clearly have knives on the table. Although it would be quite easy to grab a knife from another table.

#4 appears to be using chopsticks? He’s also in the line of sight of #2 which would be careless of he killer.

Most plausable options are the waiter as he could walk around the restaurant unnoticed. He could easily get into the ladies toilet without the patrons noticing.

however. It Is my belief that the killer or victim was sat in the chair on the vacant table, top left of the picture. The chair is slightly pulled out, which suggests its recently been vacated. (Every other chair is nearly pushed in) Also – note the ajar door top right of the image – someone has just left.

I believe the attacker was known to the victim. Stabbing like this is a passionate crime. (Probably a cheating husband involved) and lack of defensive wounds suggests the attacker could get close to the victim.

TL:DR – the killer left the restaurant through the open door and isn’t on site. (Who stays behind to finish their pasta salad after killing someone?!)

source: I watch tv.

*

Finally Adam ………

So it was!

As much as solving the puzzle, it was fun to follow the loud thinking!

End