Smile Away!

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The Language Nerds

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Or Sketchers?

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Smile Away

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Humor

from santa banta:

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Chuckles

from Ray Mitchell:

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As he lay on his deathbed he spoke, “Sara, I want you should know before I die that Ginsburg the tailor owes me $200, and Morris the butcher owes me $50, and Klein next door owes me $300.”

His wife turned to the children and said, “What a wonderful man your father is. Even when he’s dying, he’s got the brains to realize who owes him money.”

The old man continued, “And Sara I want you to also know that I owe the landlord a hundred dollars.”

To which his wife cried, “Oh oh, now he’s getting delirious!”

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If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

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A man asks his guru, “Do you have anything that stops the aging process?”

The guru responds, “Sure. What kind of disease would you like?”

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Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.

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Jill, in the personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex.

She sent this reply…”Attached is a list of our staff.  We currently have no one broken down by age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics.”

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He who would go a hundred miles should consider ninety-nine as halfway.

Japanese proverb

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My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots.

“Tina,” I commented, “I see you got new boots! Where did you get them?”

“At the store,” she answered.

“Which one?” I asked.

She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, “Both of them!”

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A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, “I don’t really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them.”

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Someday is not a day of the week.

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She said: All Desirable things in life are either ILLEGAL, BANNED, FATTENING, OR MARRIED TO OTHERS.

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Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, “It’s no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size.”

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Dear Lord,

So far today, Lord, I’ve done alright. I haven’t gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or over-indulgent. I’m very thankful for that.

But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed. And from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot more help.

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“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he’d learned in seven years.”

Mark Twain

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“The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.”

King Edward VIII

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Smile Away

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Smile Away :-)

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Sights And Signs On Streets Of Chennai

Observed during a recent visit in Dec’19:

What is Scary Harry doing lurking round the corner weeks after Haooween?

Fooled you! Actually a parked two-wheeler in its head-to-toe cover!

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Has nothing to do with punching-bags, boxing….it’s a shop to mend flat tyres.

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Intriguingly stops short of naming who should hang for the mess in Andhra!

Nothing as serious as that – it’s an eatery offering Andhra cusine!

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Well, we have no issues with that as long as he doesn’t get racuous about it!

Not to worry, Balaji is not one of those loquacous chaps. It’s a fast-food eatery offering chaats like bhel puri, pani puri….


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Obviously you had one job to do, that you didn;do well.

Modi-ji (Indian Prime-Minister where everyone’s buck stops), you goofed – there’s no sign instructing citizens to deposit into the bin.

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