Funny, Eh?

So we thought we’ve seen them all – those meanie humor stuff on stereotypes of all kinds…

This conclusive test to see if the concrete dried

and we thought there’s no room for any fresh surprises until……this one came along:

Driving home from the pub earlier, they were pulled over by a Police Car.

The man and his wife got down from the car.

“Everything alright officer?” he asked the traffic cop.

“Not really sir,” he replied, “Your car was weaving across the road in a very uncontrolled manner.”

“What do you expect?” the man said, “I’ve had a dozen beers.”

The cop laughed, “In that case sir, I fully understand.”

Getting back to his car, he turned around and said: “If you just follow the cars ahead you’ll be doing okay. Take care and safe driving, M’m.”

End

Source: Adopted from jokefortoday.wordpress.com. Harry has an inexhaustible supply to give out a daily dose of his tonic to subscribers. Image from the net.

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Utter Momsense

John gave his Mom a driver’s manual for her to read and be ready when it came time to get her driver’s permit.

“Oh,” she said, “I already know everything in the book.”

“You do?”

“Yep”, she said, very smugly.

“OK, we’ll just see about that.”

So John asked her:

“How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes real hard?”

girl_driving_car_openclipart.org

“One,” she replied.

“What? One?!”

She repeated her answer and then because of the confused look on John’s face, she added. . .

“Only one, John. You always told me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right one.”

End
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Credits: Arcamax.com and openclipart.org

Try This If You Have A Minute

A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are riding by a car…

Bunnot 1

Who is driving the car?

End

See in the comment if you wish to know who it is!!
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Credits: ajokeaday.com (joujou man from Gambia ) and image from francethisway.com

Utter Momsense

Driving g

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Credits: wackywits.com

A Hold-Up On The Eastern Express Highway

9:35 am: Cars are whizzing by in the ten lanes of the Eastern Express Highway.

A kilometer beyond the Ghatkopar turn-off, the outbound traffic in the five lanes squeezes itself into three lanes near the middle. Cars slow down momentarily only to smoothly swing into the lane on their right and pick up even more speed to catch up on the lost seconds. A car seemed to be involved in a fresh accident and is the cause for the traffic to veer away from the lanes on the left. A couple of guys seen standing at the spot trying to flag down a vehicle.

10-15 am: We’re on the Eastern Express Highway heading for Seepz.

drunken_duck_bus

We’ve passed the Ghatkopar turn-off behind us. The cars ahead of us don’t seem to move fast enough. Very quickly we find ourselves at the tail of a crawling procession of cars. After some ten minutes of generally blaming the state-of-affairs in the country, suddenly the scene comes into our view ahead of us.

We all fall silent, half getting up from our seats for a better view. The guy seated on the other side of the isle comes across, leans over smothering me with his smelly jacket, only the window-bars holding him back. The back of a silver gray Maruti Esteem is now visible. As we move forward like those tableaus in a Republic Day ceremonial parade, we see the Maruti halted on its way to climb up a light pole. Broadsiding the car, we have almost stopped. The windshield is all cracked up. The pole is sticking out of the bonnet at an angle. The dashboard is inches away from the driver’s seat. No one around.

800px-Car_crash Wiki

‘There’s no way he could have survived, poor chap,’ the guy in smelly jacket concludes as he retreats.

There’s oil spilled, but I can’t see any blood.

We have to keep moving.

Ah, now the clog is behind us. We’re picking up speed mercifully.

The guy sitting next to me recalls a tragedy that befell his neighbor years ago.

With some luck, I may still be able to avoid the red mark on the muster.

2-30 pm: The after-noon edition of the City News reported the accident on the Eastern Express Highway beyond the Ghatkopar turn-off.

According to some motorists who called in, it is said to have happened at about 9 in the morning.

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Credits: openclipart.com (drunken-duck) and Wiki

Miracle In A Garage

mazeo

It was a long weekend. The parents of two boys (14 and 16 year-old’s) went on a trip with friends. They left early Friday morning and the boys were left alone at home.

That evening the younger boy made the suggestion that they take their dad’s car, pick up some girls and go to the local disco. The 16-year-old boy could drive a bit but was too scared. After some nagging he gave in and off they went to enjoy the evening.

When they got back to the car after a lot of discothequeing, they noticed a huge dent in the rear of the car – someone must have bumped into the car and drove off. Frantically they phoned their friends to find a panel-beater/spray-painter to fix their dad’s car.

Finally they found one on Saturday morning who promised to do the job on the same day if they brought the car right away.

The car was fixed properly and they parked it back in the garage that afternoon.

Their parents returned the next day but the boys were too terrified to say anything about the accident.

The father went to get something from the garage, came back very amazed and said to the family in the lounge,

‘A miracle has happened! The car has no scratches at all.’

The boys froze.

The mother threw a ‘So, what is the miracle?’ look at the husband.

‘If this isn’t a miracle…A guy drove into the back of my car on Thursday and now it is fixed without a scratch!’

End
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Source: resourcesforattorneys.com, openclipart (mazeo)