Thick As Thieves

This was originally intended to illustrate team-work.

But, I thought, it succinctly captured the dynamics of coalition politics in our country.

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That it happens even without coalition is never a surprise:-(

 

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You’re Not Alone!

About This And That

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Source: Buzzfeed.com

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Why Great Men Are No Longer Born In India?

You don’t have to look far for the reason. It stares in your eyes if you keep them open.

All because of successive Indian Governments aggressively pursuing Family Planning initiatives, particularly Narendra Modi’s.

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BBC _78908105_51341829

We didn’t have the tools before. Now thanks to Big Data, we know:

Mahathma Gandhi was the son of the fourth wife of his father.

Babasaheb  Ambedkar was the 14th issue of his father.

Ravindranath Tagore was also the 14th issue of his father.

Subash Chandra Bose was the 9th among the 14 siblings.

Swami Vivekananda was the 6th among the 10 siblings.

So, folks, if our children are where they’re in life, it’s not their (un)doing:-)

You know who to blame!

And all this science-speak of sperms and eggs degrading with age…

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Source: Received thru whatsApp; veracity not checked.

Who’s Most Wily Among Us? (In Hindi)

Hands timeanddate com

एक अंग्रेज ट्रेन से सफ़र कर रहा था …..
सामने एक बच्चा बैठा था…
अंग्रेज ने बच्चे से पूछा यहाँ सबसे ज्यादा खतरनाक कौन सी समाज हैं ???
बच्चा:” महाराष्ट्रीयन,पंजाबी, गुजराती, हरयाणवी,और सबसे ज्यादा तो यूपीवाले
[कुछ देर पश्चात]
अंग्रेज : ‘मैं कैसे जान सकता हूँ कि कौन सा व्यक्ति कितना खतरनाक है ?’
बच्चा: ‘बैठा रह शान्ति से … अभी दस घंटे के सफ़र में सबसे मिलवा दूंगा’….

कुछ ही देर बाद हरियाणा का एक चौधरी मूंछों पे ताव देता हुआ बैठ गया ।
बच्चा: ‘भाई ये हरियाणवी है …’
अंग्रेज : ‘इससे बात कैसे करूँ?’
बच्चा: “चुपचाप बैठा रह और मूंछों पर ताव देता रह.. ये खुद बात करेगा तेरे से’…
अंग्रेज ने अपनी सफाचट मूछों पर ताव दिया..
चौधरी उठा और अंग्रेज के दो कंटाप जड़े – ‘बिन खेती के ही हल चला रिया है तू ..?’


थोड़ी देर बाद एक मराठी आ के बैठ गया …
बच्चा : ‘भाई ये मराठी है …’
अंग्रेज : ‘इससे बात कैसे करूँ ?’
बच्चा : ‘इससे बोल कि बाम्बे बहुत बढ़िया ..’
अंग्रेज ने मराठी से यही बोल दिया..
मराठी उठा और थप्पड़ लगाया – “साले बाम्बे नहीं मुम्बई … समझा क्या”


थोड़ी देर बाद एक गुजराती सामने आकर बैठ गया।
बच्चा : ‘भाई ये गुजराती है …’
अंग्रेज गाल सहलाते हुए : ‘इससे कैसे बात करूँ ?’
बच्चा : ‘इससे बोल सोनिया गांधी जिंदाबाद …’
अंग्रेज ने गुजराती से यही कह दिया
गुजराती ने कसकर घूंसा मारा – ‘नरेन्द्र मोदी जिंदाबाद…एक ही विकल्प- मोदी’..


थोड़ी देर बाद एक सरदार जी आकर बैठ गए ।
बच्चा : ‘देख भाई ये पंजाबी है …’
अंग्रेज ने कराहते हुए पूछा – ‘इससे कैसे बात करूँ ..’
बच्चा : ‘बात न कर बस पूछ ले कि 12 बज गए क्या ?’
अंग्रेज ने ठीक यही किया …
अंग्रेज : ‘ओ सरदार जी 12 बज गए क्या ?
सरदार जी ने आव देखा न ताव अंग्रेज को उठा के नीचे पटक दिया…
सरदार : साले खोतया नू … तेरे को मैं मनमोहन सिंह लगता हूँ जो चुप रहूँगा’….


पहले से परेशान अंग्रेज बिलबिला गया .
खीझ के बच्चे से बोला : इन सबसे मिलवा दिया अब यूपीवालो से भी मिलवा दो’

बच्चा बोला – “इतनी देर से तेरे को पिटवा कौन रहा । है….!” .

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Source: Said in jest without offence to anyone, from drpuneetagrawal.blogspot.in and image from timeanddate.com

How Wrong Mahatma Gandhi Was!

Would have been a lot simpler winning freedom and history very different if only he had known

Indian Indpenedence

 

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Source: DumpAday.com and Uberhumor.com

Incredible India

Old Lady G
Goldie Cohen, an elderly Jewish lady from New York, goes to her travel agent.

“I vont to go to India.”

“Mrs. Cohen, why India? It’s much hotter than New York, it’s filled with Indians.”

“I vont to go to India.”

“But it’s a long journey, and those trains, how will you manage? What will you eat? The food is too hot and spicy for you. You’ll get sick. What will you do? Can you imagine the hospital, no Jewish doctors? Why torture yourself?”

“I vont to go to India.”

The necessary arrangements are made, and off she goes. She arrives in India and, undeterred by the noise and crowds, makes her way to an ashram.

There she joins the seemingly never-ending queue of people waiting for an audience with the guru. An aide tells her that it will take at least three days of standing in line to see the guru.

“Dats OK.”

Eventually she reaches the hallowed portals. There she is told firmly that she can only say three words.

“Fine.”

She is ushered into the inner sanctum where the wise guru is seated, ready to bestow spiritual blessings upon eager initiates. Just before she reaches the holy of holies she is once again reminded:

“Remember, just three words.”

Unlike the other devotees, she does not prostate at his feet. She stands directly in front of him, crosses her arms over her chest, fixes her gaze on his, and says:

head1
“Sheldon, come home.”

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Credits: haruth.com/ and openclipart

Mantralaya Fire Accident

In plain anguish over the recent unfortunate fire accident at Mantralaya (nerve-center of Maharashtra Government), Mumbai, my good friend Gul sent this out:

“…

When a cinema hall got burnt in Delhi, the Ansals (owners) were jailed.

When a hospital got burnt in Calcutta, some medical directors of the hospital were jailed.

Now, this fire at Mantralaya and the loss of life – when will the Chief Minister and/or the Chief Secretary go to jail?

…”

But then my good friend, Gul, is naive in these matters. I think I understand it a little better than he does.

Well, my funds are on the fire-brigade chief.

What do you think?

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