Chuckles
November 24, 2020 3 Comments
**
Wives carry a pin in their bags…
My husband and I were at my high school reunion. As I looked around, I noticed the other men in their expensive suits and their bulging stomachs. Proud of the fact that he weighed just five pounds more than he did when he was in high school, the result of trying to beat a living out of a rocky hillside farm, he said to me, “I’m the only guy here who can still wear the suit he wore when he graduated.”
I glanced at the prosperous, reunion crowd, then back at him, and said, “And you’re the only one who has to.”
to prick our balloons.
**
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you’d rather not.“
Mark Twain
**
Bawa’s (Parsi’s) have a great sense of humor besides being entrepreneurial. A pity their numbers are dwindling.
Last night who else but Dorab Bawa was driving back home from a party.
He was high and saw there was Police checking. Was scared at that very moment but then immediately got down from the driver seat and sat in the back seat.
After few minutes the Police Officer came and asked Dorab Bawa to move his car ahead for a check.
Dorab Bawa said: “My driver ran away seeing you.”
The Police Officer replied: “Then you move your car ahead.”
I said: “No sir, as a true Indian citizen I should not drive drunk.”
Officer looked at Dorab Bawa got emotional and applauded him for his responsible behavior..
He sent one constable to drive Dorab’s car home.
Kaun kehta hai peene ke baad dimag kaam nahi karta? (Whoever says brain goes numb with alcohol?)
**
Military Intelligence
One day a Colonel Sa’ab from the Army fell into a well.
The soldiers would throw a rope into the well and pull the Colonel Sa’ab out. The moment the Colonel would come up, the soldiers would leave the rope snap to attention and salute. The Colonel Sa’ab would fall back into the well. This happened many times.
Someone suggested that a Brigadier be requested for help-because HE wouldn’t have to salute the Colonel.
So one Brigadier Sa’ab arrived. He threw the rope into the well and the Colonel Sa’ab grabbed it. The Brigadier Sa’ab began pulling the rope. As soon as the Colonel Sa’ab reached the top of the well, he spotted the Brigadier Sa’ab. He immediately left the rope and saluted. And he fell back once more into the well.
There was total silence. Then everyone heard the desperate Colonel Sa’ab’s voice from down below:
“You idiots – get hold of a batch mate!!”
Moral of the story: Dedicated to all batch-mates. They can save your life!
**
Why doctors also need to attend Anger Management course?
A woman comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain “Please doctor, you’ve got to help me. I’ve been stung by a bee.”
Doc: “Don’t worry; I’ll put some cream on it.”
She: “You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now.”
Doc: “No, you don’t understand! I’ll put some cream on the place you were stung.”
She: “Oh! It happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree.”‘
Doc (in anger): “No, no, I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting.”
She (still screaming in pain): “On my finger! The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts.”
Doc (banging his fist and raising his voice):”Which one?”
WOMAN (innocently): “How am I to know? All bees look the same to me.”
😀😀😀😀
**
A Woman walks into a butcher’s shop just before closing time and asks, “Do you still have chicken?” 🐓
The butcher opens his deep freezer, takes out his only chicken left and puts it on the weighing scale. It weighs 1.5 kg.
The woman looks at the chicken and at the scale and asked, “Do you have one that’s a bit bigger than this one?”
The butcher puts his only chicken back into the freezer, and then takes it out again. But this time when he puts it on the scale, he craftily keeps his thumb on the scale pan. And the scale now shows 2 kg.
“That’s wonderful,” said the woman. “I’ll take both of them, please!” 😎
**
What’s the best example of “once in a lifetime opportunity?
A mosquito sitting on your spouse’s face😛
**
End
Sources: Rahul Mehta, Ray Mitchell…
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