Advanced Health Scare

htofmisunderstanding

 

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Source: www

Advancements In Mediscare

RD 15-AOL-travel-days-work-fsl mediscare cartoon

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Source: Reader’s Digest

If You Are Sore With Your Lawyer…

this will cheer you up.

495632339 work.chron com

A doctor can’t find a job in a hospital, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside:

‘Get treatment for $20 – If not cured get back $100’.

A lawyer is unable to resist the temptation to earn an easy 100 bucks, so he goes to the clinic.

Lawyer:  “I have lost my sense of taste”

Doctor:  “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient’s mouth”

Lawyer:  “Ugh…this is kerosene”

Doctor:  “Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20”

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money…

Lawyer:  “I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything”

Doctor:  “Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth”

Lawyer (annoyed):  “This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste”

Doctor: “Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20”

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer:  “My eyesight has become very weak I can’t see at all ”

Doctor:  “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so take this $100”

Lawyer (staring at the note): “But this is $20, not $100”

Doctor:  “Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20”


Now start thinking…get ideas?

End

 

Source: Vidya Dwaraknath and image from work.chron.com

It’s All Engineered

magic_wand

Two friends – one was a Doctor and the other an Engineer – entered a confectionery store.

Upon seeing that the people in the store were busy, the Doctor stole 3 chocolate bars.

As they left the store, Doctor said to Engineer: “Man I’m the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolates
and no one saw me, you can’t beat that”

Engineer replied: “You wanna see something better? Let’s go back to the store and I’ll show you real stealing”

So they went to the counter And Engineer said to the Shopkeeper: “Do you wanna see magic?”

Shopkeeper replied: “Okay!”

Engineer said: “Give me one chocolate bar.”

The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it.

He asked for the second, and he ate that as well.

He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shopkeeper asked: “But where’s the magic?”

Engineer replied: “Check in my friend’s pocket, and you’ll find them.”

End
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Credits: funnyfunnyjokes.org and openclipart

It Dosn’t Pay To Mess With Your Doctor

MoSelf_Doctor

A young woman wasn’t feeling well, and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician.

“I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that.”

The woman went to the doctor’s office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced.

“I’m back!”

The doctor quickly examined her and said,

“Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit.”

End
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Credits: arcamax.com, openclipart (MoSelf_Doctor)

A Strange Affliction In Moments Of Intimacy

MoSelf_Doctor
Caution: Adult content and graphic images

The nurse helped Mr. Wilson wobble his way to the patient’s seat, his cane safely set by his side.
He waited for the nurse to step out closing the door behind her.

‘Doctor, I don’t know how to tell you this…’

‘Yes,’ encouraged the kind-faced doctor.

‘It’s like this. Some days ago, we were seeing this afternoon movie on the TV. I got carried away, took missus in my arms and…kissed her.’

‘Perfectly natural for a happy couple, I would say.’

‘It is not that, Doctor. ‘

‘What then?’

‘When we pulled away, I was shivering like I was in Arctic. Something never happened before…I forgot all about it until it happened again.’

The doctor bade him with his eyes to elaborate.

‘Some days ago – can’t quite recall exactly how it happened – I kissed her again. And this time I broke into streaming sweat. Didn’t look ok at all to me. That’s when I said I must bring this up to you.’

‘You did the right thing, Mr. Wilson,’ the generous doctor giving credit where it’s due.

After a pause, it struck him the ball was now lobbed onto his court and it was his turn. The honest doctor seemed to rake his brains for a while before candidly admitting:

‘Strange, very strange. Never had a case like this before in my living memory.’

He again went back to exercising his brain cells desperately with Mr. Wilson looking intently at him like he wanted to catch a hen in the act of laying an egg.

Minutes slipped by. Finally the doctor conceded defeat:

‘I say this again – it’s dashed strange. Need a bit of time to check out the documented history of medical cases and also with some of my peers. Do call on me in a couple of days – I’ll have something definite for you.’

So it happened a couple of days later, Mr. Wilson returned, this time accompanied by his wife – a woman by appearance given to taking charge of any scene she was in.

It was plain from the doctor’s demeanor he was not successful in his efforts so far. In a last-ditch attempt to keep the show going, he retraced the highlights of the case as he had heard from Mr. Wilson and asked the wife what she thought of it.

Mr. Wilson was stirred: ‘Doctor, you don’t believe me that you are checking with my missus?’

‘It’s not like that, Mr. Wilson. Many a times women observe those small things we men tend to overlook. That’s why…please don’t get offended.’

‘You mean this dear old coot here brought this up to check with you? Didn’t say a word to me,’ glowered the wife half rising from her seat disregarding her joints groaning from the effort.

Mr. Wilson withered under her unwavering gaze.

faltige_frau
Not one to seek confirmation she rolled on: ‘It was the time of Christmas at sub-zero, when it happened first. When he did it again, it was scalding summer frying onions for free.’

‘Now,’ she fixed the doctor with her glare, ‘if there’s more to it, Doctor, won’t you let’s know?’

With that she stomped out from the Doctor’s room dragging with her Mr. Wilson still trying to figure out, in the manner of a reluctant child being taken to school.

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Credits: Somewhere on the internet, openclipart (MoSelf_Doctor and faltige_frau)

Presence Of Body…And Mind

‘Here we are, Mr. Smith,’ Doctor Wilson finishing his examination, ribbed him: ‘You’re good to see the Halley’s Comet visiting us next time around. Just continue with those red pills.’

So Mr. Smith stepped out in good cheer and the Doctor settled down in his chair to receive the next patient shortly.

It wasn’t a minute or two before the nurse burst into the Doctor’s office.

‘Doctor Wilson,’ She yelled, ‘you just gave a clean bill of health to Mr. Smith and … and he dropped dead right outside the door!’

MoSelf_Doctor

The Doctor jumped into action.

‘Quick,’ he said, ‘We’ve got to turn him around so it looks like he was just coming in!’

End

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Credits: ajokeaday.com, openclipart (moself)