It’s A Sure Sign Of Trouble In Festive Season When…

you go some place on a set of wheels…

Lights up, first!

Now for the some words of sage advice from one who has been there:

A warning to all you drivers, be careful about drunk driving as we’re getting close to Christmas and Police are out there checking on people.

Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many cocktails and then went onto the wine. Not a good idea.

Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the pub and took a bus home.

Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint, where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyzer tests. Because I was in a Bus they just waved it past.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I’ve never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from.

…and return by another.

End

Source: santabanta.com. The image is entirely of a different kind: Bus driver shocked by praise after kindness to homeless man.

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Funny, Eh?

So we thought we’ve seen them all – those meanie humor stuff on stereotypes of all kinds…

This conclusive test to see if the concrete dried

and we thought there’s no room for any fresh surprises until……this one came along:

Driving home from the pub earlier, they were pulled over by a Police Car.

The man and his wife got down from the car.

“Everything alright officer?” he asked the traffic cop.

“Not really sir,” he replied, “Your car was weaving across the road in a very uncontrolled manner.”

“What do you expect?” the man said, “I’ve had a dozen beers.”

The cop laughed, “In that case sir, I fully understand.”

Getting back to his car, he turned around and said: “If you just follow the cars ahead you’ll be doing okay. Take care and safe driving, M’m.”

End

Source: Adopted from jokefortoday.wordpress.com. Harry has an inexhaustible supply to give out a daily dose of his tonic to subscribers. Image from the net.

When A Do-Gooder Meets A No-Gooder…

the outcomes are not always predictable. Read on:

A citizen who prided, himself on being something of a Good Samaritan was passing an apartment house in the small hours of the morning when he noticed a man leaning limply against the doorway.

11m34

‘What’s the matter?’ he asked. ‘Had one too many?’

The man nodded.

‘Live here?’

‘Yup’

‘Do you want me help you upstairs?’

‘Yup, the second,’ his hand pointing up.

The elevator door was open with no car in place. Not to be deterred, with much difficulty he half dragged, half carried the drooping figure up the stairway to the second-floor.

It was dark. Rather than face an irate wife who might perhaps take him to be an accomplice more at fault than her spouse, he opened what appeared to be the door to a hallway to the apartments and pushed the limp figure in with some effort.

The Good Samaritan groped his way downstairs.

As he was passing through the vestibule, he was able to make out the dim outlines of another who was apparently in a worse condition than the first.

‘What’s the matter? Are you drunk too?’ he asked.

‘Yup,’ was the feeble reply.

‘Do you live here too?’

‘Yup, on the second floor.’

‘Some party, eh? You want me to help you go up?’

The Good Samaritan pushed, pulled and carried him upstairs. He opened the same door and pushed him in.

As he reached the front-door he discerned the shadow of a third man evidently worse of than either of the other two. He was about to approach him when the object of his solicitude lurched into the street, panic in his eyes as though he saw a ghost and threw himself into the arms of a passing policeman.

‘Off’shur! Off’shur! For heav’n sake, Off’shur! he gasped.

‘Steady, steady, what’s it? the policeman inquired.

‘Off’shur, protect me from that man. He’s done noth’ng all night long except carry me upstairs and throw me down the elevator shaft.’

End
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Credits: Source unknown.