Chuckles For The Weekend

From A Joke A Day

**

My Job As A Taxi Driver

Submitted by raza

I got fired from my job as a taxi driver…

It turns out my customers didn’t like it when I tried to go the extra mile.

**

I Just Bought A Pig

Submitted by Henne

Two friends were chatting. “I’ve just bought a pig!” said the first.

“But where will you keep it?” asked the second. “Your yard’s much too small for a pig!”

“I’m going to keep it under my bed,” replied the first.

“But what about the smell?”

“He’ll soon get used to that.”

 **

Trying To Catch Up 

Submitted by mcdanijt

Cop: You know how fast you were going?

Guy: Sorry officer, I was just trying to catch up with traffic.

Cop: What traffic? The road is empty.

Guy: Yea, that’s how far behind I am.

**

The Viola Student 

Submitted by D-Gellybean

The conductor turned to the viola student and said, “You should have taken up the viola earlier.” 

“Why?” asked the student. “Do you think the practice would have made me really good?”

“No,” said the conductor. “But you might have given up by now.”

**

End

Images from businessinsider.com, pinterest, bestlifeonline.com and Wellnessliving.com