Cheer Up, It Can’t Be Worse Than For This Kid

Saddest Kid He thought school was for only one day edited.jpg

He thought the school was just for a day!

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Source: Uber Humor (Steve Holt)

Who Brought Down The Walls Of Jericho?

Tissot_The_Taking_of_Jericho

The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class:

“Who broke down the walls of Jericho?”

Little Johnny replies:

“I dunno, but it wasn’t me!”

The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny’s lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.

The principal replies:

“I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth.”

Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story…

After listening he replies:

“I can’t see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!”

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Credits: From arcamax.com. The painting ‘The Taking of Jericho,’ is by James Jacques Joseph Tissot (French, 1836-1902), gouache on board, 7 1/4 x 5 15/16 in. at the Jewish Museum, New York (Source: Wiki).

A Black-Lettered Day

Yesterday – a day I suddenly lost a big piece of myself.

A day, I wish, had never dawned.

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A class-mate at school and a friend, a bond that lasted for over 50 years.

They say: “Friendship is the kind that doesn’t depend on a common situation, place or hobbies. A friend is one who loves you for being you, will worry about your problems, will help whenever he can without you asking him to, and will always care about what you are going through.”

He was all this and more.

Was I to him? I wish I could be surer.

I curse myself for not reaching him in those weeks.

It feels so unreal.

One more puncture in the bubble-wrap of life.

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Credits: ba-bamail.com for the quote.

That’s How it Goes

They were new to the neighborhood.

After a late night, the family on this day had overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus.

schoolfreeware_School_Bus

The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school. And she assured him she would.

They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes and they finally reached the school.

That’s when the father realized that the school was only a short distance from their home.

Much annoyed, he asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a huge circle.

young-girl oc bisida

The child explained, ‘But, Dad, we reached without a single wrong turn. Didn’t we? And, that’s the way the school bus goes.’

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Credits: academictips.org, openclipart (schoolfreeware, Bisidi)

Science Has An Explanation

teacher dcatcherex, Jone
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science.

She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time.

And she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?”

Gerald_G_Busy_Mom
A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”

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Credits: unijokes.com and openclipart (Gerald_G, dcatcherex, Jone)

Monday Medley

A FDA Approved Cure For Scolionophobia

A mother repeatedly called upstairs for her son to get up, get dressed and get ready for school. It was a familiar routine, especially at exam time.

“I feel sick, Mom,” a meek voice from the bedroom.

“You are not sick. Get up and get ready,” called the mother, walking up the stairs and hovering outside the bedroom door.

“I hate school and I’m not going,” meowed the voice from the bedroom, “I’m always getting mixed up and getting told off. Nobody likes me, and I’ve got no friends. And we have too many tests and they are too confusing. It’s all just pointless, and I’m not going to school ever again.”

“I’m sorry, but you are going to school,” said the mother through the door, continuing encouragingly, “Really, mistakes are how we learn and develop. And please try not to take criticism so personally. And I can’t believe that nobody likes you – you have lots of friends at school. And yes, all those tests can be confusing, but we are all tested in many ways throughout our lives, so all of this experience at school is useful for life in general.”

Silence from the bedroom.

“Besides, you have to go – don’t forget you are the principal.”

Soul Food

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” (Oscar Wilde)

“Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same.” (Audrey Hepburn)

“On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, “Is it safe?” Expediency asks the question “Is it politic?” And Vanity comes along and asks the question, “Is it popular?” But Conscience asks the question “Is it right?” And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right.” (Martin Luther King)

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” (John Wooden)

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Sources: Grateful acknowledgements to school.phillipmartin.info, businessballs.com, quotationspage.com, thinkexist.com, sethgodin.typepad.com and ideachampions.com.