Them, You Cannot Wish Away

They join you not so much ‘by your leave’ every time you sit at a table in a restaurant and you pay!

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The reason for their levity in the face of adversity, I suspect, must be: their meal is on some business account, a facility not given to us?

End

 

 

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We’ve Friends

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Santa: My friend, where do you plan to go for this vacation?

Banta: Well, nothing out of the way, yaar. Last year it was Europe we had planned to spend our holidays and we didn’t. This year it’ll be US that we won’t go to.

End

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Those Were The Days…

Left out

 

End

 

Source: santabanta.com

You Guessed It Right…

Santa is just back from a course on ‘Think Different’:

santa-plants

 

End.

 

 

Sometimes It Pays To Have Clouded Vision!

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This man was patiently waiting at the reception of a Beauty Parlor, his eyes averting the beautiful ladies swishing by.

There was this dame who slowly walked up to him and squeezed his shoulders and said seductively:

‘Come on, let’s go and have some fun.’

The man broke into copious sweat and managed to tell her:

‘I’m a married man, lady. Am here with my wife. Please go away.’

The man almost had a nervous breakdown when she pecked him on his cheeks and cooed into his ears:

‘Stupid, wipe your glasses, it’s me.’

 

End

 

 

Source: santabanta.com

 

Santa Goes To A Dentist

www.indiatvnews.co IndiaTve7b337_Santa-Banta-jokes

Santa  went to a dentist for tooth extraction and first inquired about cost.

Dentist said it’s Rs 1,200 per extraction. Santa thought it was too much and asked about cheaper methods.

The dentist understood Santa’s concern: ‘Yes, it can be done without anesthesia and will cost only Rs. 300, but I must warn you it would be very very painful.’

Santa was ready:’Okay, Doctor, I can take it, do it without anesthesia.’

The dentist removed the tooth without anesthesia and during the entire procedure the Santa sat quietly,completely unruffled, even smiling a little.

The dentist was not only surprised but was quite impressed and said: ‘I have never seen such a brave patient like you. I don’t even want my fees, here, instead take this Rs. 500 as a reward, you’ve taught me such a powerful lesson today about mastering one’s pain and feelings thru mind control!!!’

In the evening he met his fellow dentists and told everyone about his amazing patient. Out of all doctors, one jumped up: ‘Did he wear garish yellow t-shirt?’

‘Yes, he did, it kind of strikes you right away,’ the dentist confirmed.

‘That rascal came to me… I gave him anesthesia and asked him to wait outside for half an hour. When I called him in again he was gone…just like that.’

End

 

Source: santabanta.com and indiatvnews.com

 

Santa Is Brave

 

Santa was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit.

Santa

The prosecutor opened his questioning with, “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “Irrelevant!”

“Oh, that’s okay,” said Santa from the witness stand. “I don’t mind answering the question.”

“I object!” the defense said again.

“No, really,” said Santa. “I’ll answer.”

The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object.”

So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of August 24th?”

Santa replied brightly, “I don’t know!”

End

 

 

Source: Ray Mitchell at raykiwsp.wordpress.com and image from santabanta.com