What’s World Without…

Santa and Banta?

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A sage advice:

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Unthinkable, you agree?

End

Image source: Kamisama

All The World Loves A Loser!

‘Ayushman Bharat Scheme’ is a recently announced medicare scheme:

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An Open Door

Benjamin is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another gambler just to use the men’s room. He finds a stall that happens to be open and pockets the quarter.

Believing that his luck has finally changed, he puts the quarter in a slot machine and hits the jackpot. He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns his modest winnings into a million dollars. 

Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Benjamin goes on the lecture circuit, where he tells his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he will always be eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the man he will share his fortune with him.

After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and says, “I’m that man. I was the one who gave you the quarter.”

“Yes, I remember you well, but you aren’t the one I’m looking for. I mean the guy who left the stall door open!”

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Jones jumped up from the card table white with rage.  “Stop this game,” he shouted, “Smith is cheating!”

“How do you know?”

“He’s not playing the hand I dealt him.”

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End

Source: santabanta.com

Watch Out…Could Happen To You!

‘Doctor, please help my dad, his eyes have gotten like this over the past few months.’

Ailment

MD: ‘You must take him to a ophthalmologist.  He may need a scan. I know a good guy in Colaba with all the equipment…will give you a note. Do it asap before it gets worse.’

‘But, doctor, we live in Borivili and Colaba is land’s end on the other side…’

‘Look, if you’re serious about getting him treated…that’ll be 2000 rupees.’

In a few days, Uncle visiting from Thirupparaithurai: ‘Hey, whatever happened to him? He was perfectly normal when I saw him last.’

‘It’s a long story, Uncle – must have happened gradually that we didn’t notice it at all until one day…’

‘Has he been watching English movies on TV?’

‘How did you know? Lately, yes, a lots of them.’

‘Show him Hindi movies…this is what happens watching movies with subtitles.’

 

End

 

 

 

Source: santabanta.com’

A Family Crysis

clark-howard_471649104 www clark com.jpg

Pauly’s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn’t eating much, and she just keeps her head down.

After a few minutes, she says, “I have something to tell you.”

Everyone gets silent and they all listen.

“I am no longer the virgin I used to be.” And she begins to cry.

A long silence, and Mr Pauly speaks to Mrs Pauly, “It’s your fault, you know, always dressed and made up like a tramp. You think that’s an example for your daughter? Always wallowing on the sofa; it’s just terrible; that’s why problems like this come up!”

Then Mrs Pauly descends on Mr Pauly, “And you! Do you think that you’re a good example? Wasting your scrawny paycheck with your drinking buddies who even come drunk into the house – do you think that’s a good example for a little girl 10 years old?”

Mr Pauly charges back in, “And her sister, that no-good, with her hairy and dope-crazed boyfriend, always with their hands all over each other – you think that’s a good example too?”

And it goes on and on, back and forth.

Then the grandmother hugs the little girl to console her and asks, “Now, darling, how did this happen?

And the little girl answers, trying to hold back her sobbing, “Father Michael chose another girl to be the Virgin in the Christmas pageant this year.”

End

 

 

 

Source: santabanta.com and image from clark com (clark-howard_471649104)

Will Someone Tell This Guy…

a fortune waits for him in Indian politics?

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Source: santabanta.com