Wives And GF’s, Laugh It Off, Please…

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A woman stepped off a bus and realised she had left her purse on board. When she turned around, the bus was already long gone.

She called the bus company and was relieved to find out the bus driver had found her bag. When she went to pick it up, a man handed her two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of her purse.

“We’re required to inventory lost wallets and purses,” he explained. “You’ll find everything in there.”

As the woman began pilling the items back into her bag, the man continued, “I hope you don’t mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we’d like to see just how you do it.”

**

Mark Gungor on Male and Female brains – Boxes and Brains (7.51 mins):

Clip is available here.

End

Source: JuNaid BaJwaBest English Quotes & Sayings, santabanta.com

Wives And GF’s, Laugh It Off, Please…

Well, don’t want to push my luck too far:-)

End

Source: Fatimah Abd Wahid‎ and Sheeba Azam in Best English Quotes & Sayings, All India Jokes , santabanta.com…

Wives And GF’s, Laugh It Off, Please…

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Balasubramanian Bk‎Friends of TN BJP.jpg

 

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Mom, I’m Doing Just That! (A 50-Word Drabble)

Gerald-G-Simple-Fruit-FF-Menu-16

Lucy is eating her second watermelon slice. I indulge her because her sister, Rachel, is on  a play-date and she’s not.

Slurp. Drip.

“Lucy, please don’t get watermelon on your dress.”

“Okay.”

Slurp. Drip. Drip.

“Lucy, I just said not to get watermelon on your dress!”

“I’m wearing Rachel’s dress.”

End

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Source :My Daughter’s Sundress  by Mom, I’m Doing Just ThatWendy White Lees in fiftywordstories.com

Monday Mirth

It’s all Logic, Mate

Bondhu decides to write the entrance examination for admission to MBA course.

He could understand everything except for the subject of ‘Logic’. One day when he is deeply engaged in his studies, Bandhu comes home.

Comfortably seated, Bandhu inquires:

‘Bondhu, how is your preparation coming along for the MBA entrance?’

‘Everything is fine, but I just don’t understand Logic.’

‘Actually, Logic is very easy.’

‘That’s splendid. Can you explain it with an example?’

‘Ok. Here we go. Do you have fish-tank in your house?’

‘Yes, of course.’

‘Logically, there will be water in it.’

‘Yes.’

‘Logically, there will be fish in it.’

‘Yes.’

‘And, logically, someone will be feeding the fish.’

‘Yes, man. You’re spot on.’

‘I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.’

‘How did you know?’

‘So, logically, you’re married.’

‘You bet your last rupee.’

And, looking at you, you must be married for some years now.’

’Incredible! It is 7 years, come July.’

‘So, logically, you must be having one or more children?’

Bondhu did have a son and is mightily impressed with Bandhu’s exposition of Logic.

Bandhu rounds up: ‘See this is how Logic amazingly leads to you step-by-step to conclusions that are never obvious in the first place!’


Next day Bondhu takes a break and meets up with Mandu at the latter’s house. On entering, he almost falls on his face stumbling on a tricycle left abandoned in the way.

He recovers, settles down and inquires:

‘Mandu, how is your preparation for the MBA entrance coming along?’

‘Everything is fine except for the subject of Logic.’

‘Oh, Logic is kid-stuff.’

‘You’re God-sent. Please, help me with an example.’

‘Do you have a fish-tank in your house?’

‘We did have until it crashed on the floor last week. You know how it is with today’s…’

His rhythm upset by introduction of past data, Bandhu pauses for only a moment and continues:
‘Never mind what it was last week, focus on what it is now. It’s a fact you don’t have a fish-tank now?

‘You’re right.’

‘Based on the fact, logic tells us you cannot be having a wife in the house.’

‘Logic tells us that?’

‘That’s not all. Also logically you cannot have a kid in the house.’

‘Eh?’

‘Yes, Logic is far-reaching. The conclusions can surprise you! Go back to your Sherlock Holmes in school. But Mandu, there is one thing that still stumps me – all of my logic fails here, I must confess.’

A dazed Mandu throws a quizzical look.

Bondhu cannot contain himself: ‘Aren’t you a little old and big for it? Is it some kind of a fetish? I mean the tricycle – what are you doing with it?’
.
Needless to add quite logically they flunk the entrance and join the Government.
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End

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Well, while passing it on, you could insert any pet peeve of yours in place of the Government: Law, Economics, Finance, what-have-you.

If you prefer, then again it could be any Government – you won’t be off the mark.

But logically you would be more right, if you said they joined the Michigan Government; for, I clearly see their hand in:

“Bureaucrats in Michigan threaten woman with jail time for planting vegetable garden in her own yard”
(http://www.naturalnews.com/032960_Julie_Bass_home_gardening.html)

“Michigan government announces plan to destroy ranch livestock based on hair color and arrest hundreds of ranchers as felons”
(http://www.naturalnews.com/035372_Michigan_pigs_farm_freedom.html)

Honestly there must be even weirder examples closer home without going all the way to Michigan. But it is these reports that finally triggered this piece.

The original piece forwarded to me has Gyani Zail Singh, Rajiv and Buta Singh playing it out. Then, after the recent Mamta Bannerjee – cartoon – Jadhavpur episode, at my age, logically I didn’t want to chance it. .
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Soul Food

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said:

“My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

“Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied:

“The one you feed.”

End

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Sources: Grateful thanks to Saurabhg (funfunky.com), all-free-download.com , naturalnews.com and The Heart Of Innovation (ideachampions.com).