Why Great Men Are No Longer Born In India?

You don’t have to look far for the reason. It stares in your eyes if you keep them open.

All because of successive Indian Governments aggressively pursuing Family Planning initiatives, particularly Narendra Modi’s.

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BBC _78908105_51341829

We didn’t have the tools before. Now thanks to Big Data, we know:

Mahathma Gandhi was the son of the fourth wife of his father.

Babasaheb  Ambedkar was the 14th issue of his father.

Ravindranath Tagore was also the 14th issue of his father.

Subash Chandra Bose was the 9th among the 14 siblings.

Swami Vivekananda was the 6th among the 10 siblings.

So, folks, if our children are where they’re in life, it’s not their (un)doing:-)

You know who to blame!

And all this science-speak of sperms and eggs degrading with age…

End

 

Source: Received thru whatsApp; veracity not checked.

The Tank That Wasn’t

Part 1

The sweltering summer was mercifully coming to an end and the onset of monsoon only a month away. A welcome augury for the parched fields and the suffering village folks and their livestock’s.

The villagers were alert this year wanting to collect and save rainwater to last through next summer. Their head along with a bunch drawn from families of substance met the officer in-charge of village administration and development at the district head-quarters and voiced their concerns and the solution they had thought of: a tank should be built near their fields to provide water for their fields and homes all year around.

The officer heard them out patiently, checked his records and regretted his inability to undertake the construction as the meager government fund already suffering serious cuts was barely enough to cover sustenance through the year. He would certainly provide for this project in his budget for the next year. With luck it might even be sanctioned.

The villagers went into a huddle. They were loath to wait out another summer like the one they were going through without any mitigation . Something had to be done. What if they raised the fund by themselves?

The officer perked up immediately on hearing the suggestion and became helpful in pursuing the same. Within a few days, he confirmed it was possible for his office to allocate some unused government land for the project and undertake the construction if they could raise 3 lacs of rupees.  This mode of executing a project was without a precedent for his office. The hardship faced by men and animals moved his office to consider this project favorably. And with urgency as the tank would serve the purpose of providing relief only if it was ready before the monsoon arrived.

3 lacs of rupees was not an insignificant amount. A dissenting group felt they were not exactly dropping dead presently without the tank. So why not carry on as is? All considered it was finally decided to go ahead with the tank.

From there events rolled by at a fast clip. The money was collected and handed over to the officer. He was good as his word: within days workmen were sighted near a lowland outside the village.

Part 2

Six months later:

The new incumbent who took over months ago happened to meet the officer- now moved to a new district – in a staff training program. In the evening when everyone was unwinding over drinks: .

‘Many thanks to you I got this break. Let me know how I can return the favor. Anytime…’

‘Not sure I understand you.’

‘Remember the tank project?’

‘Oh, yes. What of it?’

‘You didn’t brief me on it during hand-over.’

‘Oh, I didn’t?’

‘You didn’t.’

‘If you say so…well, I did right with all other files, you must admit. This one thing – don’t know how it slipped my mind.’

‘So did the 3 lacs too.’

‘And what does 3 lacs fetch today, eh? May be a shrub-fence around the site? The true cost of the project would be not a rupee less than 25 lacs even considering only the bare essentials. Didn’t want to scare those jokers away at the first draw, you see. The records were maintained scrupulously for the money paid out.’

‘And there were no shrubs and no fence around the site – I personally visited’. In fact nothing to show for the project save a hole on the ground to stand a pole.

‘What do you think? Everything costs money. I had workmen do a recce of the site, collected soil samples and sent them for analysis.’

‘I know… must have cost you all of the 3 lacs in the kitty. To think you took up the project when you had the transfer order in your hand – ah, you’re one heck of a chap.’

‘’Service is our motto’ – isn’t that written up as our pledge? Am sure you would have picked it up from where I left. Goes to show how our machinery just rolls on regardless of the personalities…amazing isn’t it?’ Time and tide wait…no, time and project wait for none…cute, no? Thought of it just now as we are talking…must get included in our pledge. Frankly we should be thanking the Brits for installing these systems. Come rain or shine we…’

‘Must have been some very pressing situation.’

‘Mmmmm…yes, mate, strictly between us it was bad. If I had not coughed it up…anyway thanks, my friend, for covering my back. In fact I was quite worried for quite some time…really feared they would reach me somehow.’

‘Anything for a colleague.  After all hamam me sab nange hai (all are naked in a public bath). Funny I say this…there was no bath, no tank here- that’s the crux of the matter. But I must give it to you – you weren’t greedy.’

‘Now that we’re buddies, tell me how did it go for you and, yes, for the village? And you talked about some break thanking me for it…what is it?’

‘Wasn’t easy at all to face them, the villagers, and their queries. They demanded to be taken to the site and shown work done till date. Even threatened to take the matter to the Collector.’

’My god, that’s serious.’

‘Didn’t know what to do. At one stage, I seriously considered fingering you and letting myself out.’

‘Thank god you didn’t.’

‘I tell you it was quickly spinning out of control. And that’s when the report landed on my table.’

‘What report?’

‘From some little known cheapie lab you had sent the soil samples for analysis.’

‘And what did it say?’

‘Usual stuff – no surprises there. But a line in there set me thinking – said ‘arsenic content negligible.’

The officer was clueless where this was heading.

His new buddy continued: ‘I told those blokes I had to refill the areas dug up by you, almost overnight at great cost and effort as traces of toxic minerals were reported in the soil analysis – even showed them the ‘report.’ And as a responsible public servant, how could I take even the least risk in matters of their health…In the end they thanked me for what I ‘did’.’

‘Man, you’re a guru. Wish I had known you earlier…You know you should have taken a session for us today on ‘How to handle difficult situations?’ instead of those morons boring us stiff. But I still don’t understand this: while you certainly saved my hide, how was it a break for you?’

‘After my telling them at length, the villagers were more than willing to vouch before any authority why refilling was necessary and urgent. Our office very well understood refilling a large area wasn’t a cheap exercise. If digging up cost 3 lacs, filling up would…well, I don’t have to tell you…Of course the records had to be straightened out with the supporting documents and receipts.  I would be ungrateful if I didn’t thank you for the opportunity you sent my way.’

…The new buddy was not one to forget favors. He picked up the tab for the evening.

End

Source: Adapted from facebook.com/gauthamkrish

Monday Mirth

It’s all Logic, Mate

Bondhu decides to write the entrance examination for admission to MBA course.

He could understand everything except for the subject of ‘Logic’. One day when he is deeply engaged in his studies, Bandhu comes home.

Comfortably seated, Bandhu inquires:

‘Bondhu, how is your preparation coming along for the MBA entrance?’

‘Everything is fine, but I just don’t understand Logic.’

‘Actually, Logic is very easy.’

‘That’s splendid. Can you explain it with an example?’

‘Ok. Here we go. Do you have fish-tank in your house?’

‘Yes, of course.’

‘Logically, there will be water in it.’

‘Yes.’

‘Logically, there will be fish in it.’

‘Yes.’

‘And, logically, someone will be feeding the fish.’

‘Yes, man. You’re spot on.’

‘I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.’

‘How did you know?’

‘So, logically, you’re married.’

‘You bet your last rupee.’

And, looking at you, you must be married for some years now.’

’Incredible! It is 7 years, come July.’

‘So, logically, you must be having one or more children?’

Bondhu did have a son and is mightily impressed with Bandhu’s exposition of Logic.

Bandhu rounds up: ‘See this is how Logic amazingly leads to you step-by-step to conclusions that are never obvious in the first place!’


Next day Bondhu takes a break and meets up with Mandu at the latter’s house. On entering, he almost falls on his face stumbling on a tricycle left abandoned in the way.

He recovers, settles down and inquires:

‘Mandu, how is your preparation for the MBA entrance coming along?’

‘Everything is fine except for the subject of Logic.’

‘Oh, Logic is kid-stuff.’

‘You’re God-sent. Please, help me with an example.’

‘Do you have a fish-tank in your house?’

‘We did have until it crashed on the floor last week. You know how it is with today’s…’

His rhythm upset by introduction of past data, Bandhu pauses for only a moment and continues:
‘Never mind what it was last week, focus on what it is now. It’s a fact you don’t have a fish-tank now?

‘You’re right.’

‘Based on the fact, logic tells us you cannot be having a wife in the house.’

‘Logic tells us that?’

‘That’s not all. Also logically you cannot have a kid in the house.’

‘Eh?’

‘Yes, Logic is far-reaching. The conclusions can surprise you! Go back to your Sherlock Holmes in school. But Mandu, there is one thing that still stumps me – all of my logic fails here, I must confess.’

A dazed Mandu throws a quizzical look.

Bondhu cannot contain himself: ‘Aren’t you a little old and big for it? Is it some kind of a fetish? I mean the tricycle – what are you doing with it?’
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Needless to add quite logically they flunk the entrance and join the Government.
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End

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Well, while passing it on, you could insert any pet peeve of yours in place of the Government: Law, Economics, Finance, what-have-you.

If you prefer, then again it could be any Government – you won’t be off the mark.

But logically you would be more right, if you said they joined the Michigan Government; for, I clearly see their hand in:

“Bureaucrats in Michigan threaten woman with jail time for planting vegetable garden in her own yard”
(http://www.naturalnews.com/032960_Julie_Bass_home_gardening.html)

“Michigan government announces plan to destroy ranch livestock based on hair color and arrest hundreds of ranchers as felons”
(http://www.naturalnews.com/035372_Michigan_pigs_farm_freedom.html)

Honestly there must be even weirder examples closer home without going all the way to Michigan. But it is these reports that finally triggered this piece.

The original piece forwarded to me has Gyani Zail Singh, Rajiv and Buta Singh playing it out. Then, after the recent Mamta Bannerjee – cartoon – Jadhavpur episode, at my age, logically I didn’t want to chance it. .
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Soul Food

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said:

“My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:

“Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied:

“The one you feed.”

End

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Sources: Grateful thanks to Saurabhg (funfunky.com), all-free-download.com , naturalnews.com and The Heart Of Innovation (ideachampions.com).