Chutkule

Restaurant Scene

This may work for you too in a crowded restaurant:

कल मैं होटल में नाश्ता करने गया तो देखा कि सभी सीट कपल पर बैठे थे! बैठने के लिए जगह ही नही थीं! मैंने जेब से फोन निकाला और जोर से बोला,
“तेरी गर्लफ्रेंड यहाँ दूसरे के साथ बैठी है, तू जल्दी आ!”
5 लड़कियां गायब हो गयी!

When I went to the restaurant yesterday, all seats were taken by couples.

I called up (not really) my friend asking him rather audibly to come down: ‘You better hurry up, I see your girl friend is here with someone else.’

Before I ‘disconnected’, five seats fell vacant!

*

याद रखिये,
अगर कोई सुन्दर युवती बिल्कुल बिंदास होकर आपकी बगल वाली सीट पर आकर बैठ जाए,
तो समझ जाईये कि अब आप युवा नहीं रहे।

Remember this:

If a beautiful girl opts for the seat next to you, may it be understood (she considered it safe for her and) you’re no longer…

*

साला भलाई का ज़माना ही नहीं रहा।
पडोसी ने मुझसे पूछा, “आपने मेरी बीवी को देखा क्या?”
मैं बोला, “हाँ मैंने नहाते हुए देखा था।”
साले ने मेरी जमकर कुटाई कर दी।
अब उसे कौन समझाये कि नहा तो मैं रहा था, वो गली से गुज़र रही थी।

Damn, these are not days for speaking the truth.

My neighbor asked me: ‘Have you seen my wife?’

‘I said: ‘Yes, I did, when taking bath.’

Thereupon he went berserk…

before I could tell him I saw her passing by on the road while I was bathing.

*

If B + C is A, B must be A – C, right? Not always, we learn:

‘Yeh banana kaisay diya?’

‘Ek rupyah.’

’60 paise ka deta hai?’

’60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.’

‘Ley 40 paise, chilka rakh aur kela day de.’

 

‘How much is this banana?’

‘One rupee.’

‘Will you give it for 60 paise?’

‘For 60 paise, you’ll only get the skin.’

‘Okay, take these 40 paise and give me the fruit. You may keep the skin.’

*

 

End

 

Via: gopalaswamy and net; image: openclipart.org (Firkin), from a drawing in ‘Tableaux de Paris’, Emile Goudeau, 1893.

You May Want To Hire This Kid If You Have…

…an opening in creative communications!

For her mom’s birthday, this girl designed a coupon book. Here are some coupons for the mom to redeem:

The book cover:

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This includes spinach, peas…no fine print!

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Clarification awaited on what the chores could be – is it good for tidying up their bed, folding their clothes…or any household kind?

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If you’re thinking, HW is their home-work.  All without any chasing, screaming…dream of a deal for a mom!

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Isn’t it sweet? Of course, the ingredients have to be made available.

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And not in the least,

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And the coupons are valid for a whole year!!

What more for a mom?

End

 

 

Deal Of A Lifetime

Life gives us another day on this planet to be useful.

From here:

” Somewhere in Slovakia a storm drain was chirping. Rescue workers showed up to investigate, found a female mallard pacing around it, put two-and-two together, and commenced retrieving the ducklings while their concerned mother paced up and down the sidewalk. The family was then released into a nearby river…a much more duck-friendly habitat than the highway.

A short clip very different from the thousands on animals, almost spiritual on purpose of life:

 

End

.

 

 

The Journey (A Drabble of 100+ Words)

This morning…

Someone tapped on the shoulders startling me out of my snooze. A voice asked where was I going. A profound question from some inquiring soul aspiring to be clued into life’s philosophy – my life’s, a journey of three score years plus till date. An admirable pursuit of vicarious learning, I thought. I collected my wits in a trice, not to keep a thirsty knowledge-seeker waiting. Looking up, I discerned the form coming into clearer focus.

Well, an acolyte he wasn’t.

‘Colaba,’ I muttered, hurriedly fishing in my pockets for change.

The journey-ticket was thrust into my hand as he moved on.

End

Don’t Mess With Her!

psicoactiva.com conversacion-pareja1

Man: ’25 years ago, I lived happily in a 2 bedroom flat with no A/C. The TV was black and white. No washing machine or fridge…with a beautiful 25-year-old girl.

Now…I’ve everything – a 4 bedroom flat, centrally air-conditioned, big flat-screen TV in each bedroom, 2 large fridges, 2 cars…and living with a 50-year-old woman☹’

Woman: ‘Even now nothing is lost, dear. Find a beautiful 25 year-old girl for yourself and you’ll have your happy days again, I assure you.’

End

 

Via: WhatsApp and image from psicoactiva.com