2013 Masti

dance 1 f funky Picture1 dance f funky

Magician and the Parrot
pars
There was once a magician on a cruise ship who performed mainly sleight of hand tricks. He had a regular spot on the ship’s cabaret evening entertainment. He was actually quite a good magician, but his routines were regularly ruined by the onboard parrot who would fly around squawking out and giving away his secrets like:

“It’s up his sleeve, it’s up his sleeve!”or

“It’s in his pocket, it’s in his pocket!”or

“It’s in his mouth, it’s in his mouth!”

The magician was getting pretty sick of this and threatened to kill the parrot if it ruined his act one more time. That evening right at the climax of his act, just as he was about to disappear in a puff of smoke, the ship hit an iceberg and sank in seconds.

genie

Amazingly, the magician and the parrot were the only two survivors. The magician was lying on a piece of driftwood in a daze. As he opened his eyes he could see the parrot staring at him out of its beady little eye.

The parrot sat there for hours just staring at him and eventually said, “OK, I give up, what did you do with the ship?”

The Perfect Shot

Golf

A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed, driving his partner nuts.

Finally his exasperated partner says, “What the heck is taking so long? Hit the darned ball!”

The guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.”

“Give me a break! You don’t stand a snowball’s chance of hitting her from here.”

Man and Wife
TV Watch b

A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”

“OK,” says his wife as she gets up and unplugs the TV.

Gone to Dogs

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The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. (Anonymous)

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. (Ann Landers)

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. (Will Rogers)

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. (Josh Billings)

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. (Andy Rooney)

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise. (Unknown)

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’ (Dave Barry)

If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. (Phil Pastoret)

End
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Credits: Yahoo group enjoythemasti, arcmax.com, openclipart.com, wackywits.com for the gif’s and Wikipedia

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5 Responses to 2013 Masti

  1. Kannan says:

    Thanks Raghu for letting us start 2013 with a smile and look forward to more from you to keep it that way. Wish you all a Very Happy and Healthy New Year.

    Like

  2. Michelle says:

    Love them! The Magician and the Parrot took me by surprise. Love it!

    Like

  3. Sharmishtha says:

    your sense of humour is fantastic raghu.

    happy new year! May all your dreams come true!

    Like

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