Monday Masti

Friendly Neighborhood

A man is in court. The Judges says: “On the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?”

“Guilty”, said the man in the dock.

At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted “You dirty rat!”

The Judge asked the man to sit down and to refrain from making any noise.

The Judge continued “… and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead”?

“Guilty”, said the man in the dock.

Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, “You dirty rotten stinking rat”!!

At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, “I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?”

“He is my next door neighbor”.

“I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments”.

“No, your Honor, you don’t understand.

“What is it?”

Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer, and BOTH TIMES he said he didn’t have one”!!!

A Paradox

A law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fee. The student struck a deal saying, “I would pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court”. Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course.

When the course was finished and teacher started following up with the student to pay up the fee, student reminded the deal and pushed days. Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.

The teacher put forward his argument saying: “If I win this case, as per the court of law, student has to pay me. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money”.

The student argued back saying: “If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don’t have to pay anything to the teacher. And if I lose the case, I don’t have to pay him because I haven’t won my first case yet. So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything”.

What’s happening here? Can u figure out?

Sage Advice

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes,

That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Lucky Day

An excited woman rang her husband at work and shrieked:

“I’ve won the lottery. Pack your clothes.”

“Great! Summer or winter clothes?”

“All of them,” she replied. “I want you out of the house by six.”

Soul Food

Won’t you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you. (Richard Brinsley Sheridan)

What is the essence of America? Finding and maintaining that perfect, delicate balance between freedom “to” and freedom “from.” (Marilyn vos Savant, in Parade)

See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little. (Pope John XXIII)

I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. (Frances Willard)

Men err when they think they can be inhuman exploiters in their business life, and loving husbands and fathers at home. (Smiley Blanton)


Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is the lightning that does the work. (Mark Twain) .
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End .
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Sources: Credits to jokebuddha.com, funonthenet.com (sudha_madhuri), readersdigest.com.au, openclipart.com (tzunghaor, liftarn, Francesco Rollandin, Machovka, nicubunu, AJ), funonthenet.com (Shyjith M) and quotegarden.com.

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4 Responses to Monday Masti

  1. Sanjay says:

    Good stuff, as always.

    Like

  2. OyiaBrown says:

    Reblogged this on OyiaBrown.

    Like

  3. Sharmishtha says:

    you too have vanished from cyberspace!

    how is your mom now? have the chaos settled down a wee bit or still bothering and raging?

    Like

  4. tskraghu says:

    Well, I think it will be some weeks before things settle down. Until then…Thanks.

    Like

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