Monday Mirth

A policeman apologizes


A man is being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turns yellow, just in front of him. He does the right thing and stops at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hits the roof, and the horn, fuming in frustration as she misses her chance to get through the intersection with him. As she is still in mid-rant, she hears a tap on her window and looks up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer orders her to exit her car with her hands up.

He takes her to the police station where she is searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approaches the cell and opens the door. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer is waiting with her personal effects.

He says, “I’m very sorry for this mistake.” “You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.” I noticed the “Choose Life” license plate holder, the “What Would Jesus Do” bumper sticker, the “Follow Me to Sunday School” bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.”

“Naturally I assumed you had stolen the car.”

What if you don’t see me for 2 days?


A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
‘Did it again, eh? You’re not going to see me for two days.’
The man couldn’t believe his luck. He saw visions.
Monday passed and he didn’t see her…
Tuesday and Wednesday too passed…
On Thursday things were back to what they were before.
And now he could see her from the corner of a swollen eye.

Get yourself a whistle


Having one child makes you a parent; having two you’re a referee.

A special package for business men

An airline introduced a special package for business men: ‘Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife’s Ticket Free.’

After great success, the company sent letters to all wives asking how the trip was.

All of them gave the same reply…”What trip?”
.
Soul Food

The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. (C. S. Lewis)

What is moral is what you feel good after, and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.
(Ernest Hemingway)

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. (Bill Cosby)

Khalil Gibran
.
Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love.

We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.

The eye of a human being is a microscope, which makes the world seem bigger than it really is.

Many a doctrine is like a window pane. We see truth through it but it divides us from truth.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
.
Khalil Gibran was a Lebanese-American artist, poet, and writer. Born in the town of Bsharri in modern-day Lebanon (then part of the Ottoman Mount Lebanon mutasarrifate), as a young man he emigrated with his family to the United States where he studied art and began his literary career. In the Arab world, Gibran is regarded as a literary and political rebel. His Romantic style was at the heart of a renaissance in modern Arabic literature, especially prose poetry, breaking away from the classical school. In Lebanon, he is still celebrated as a literary hero. He is chiefly known in the English-speaking world for his 1923 book The Prophet, an early example of inspirational fiction including a series of philosophical essays written in poetic English prose.

End
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Sources: Credits to the delightful daily piece from Ray Mitchell (raykiwsp.wordpress.com), openclipart.org/, funfunky.com (saurabhg, gaurav1010), brainyquote.com, amazing-animations.com and Wiki.

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6 Responses to Monday Mirth

  1. S R Kannan says:

    I had gotten used to start the week with your mirth and soul food. Delayed this time but excellent neverthless. Thank you

    Like

  2. OyiaBrown says:

    Reblogged this on oyiabrown.

    Like

  3. Sharmishtha says:

    simply amazing Raghu. loved the vindictive wife and the mistaken opinion of the cops.

    Like

  4. They were all great! Hard to choose a favorite but I think the “A policeman apologizes” wins – barely. Although “What if you don’t see me for 2 days?” runs a very very close second. Both endings were unexpected which is why I enjoyed them so much.

    C.S. Lewis’s quote is spot on, too. I so enjoyed his Narnia series as a child.

    Thanks so much for sharing! Even if I am a few days late at reading…. 🙂

    Like

  5. tskraghu says:

    Thank you:-)

    Like

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