AAADD

 

This is taken from the site http://fellowshipofminds.wordpress. com/ with the author’s kind permission.


Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study. So I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye — they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone nitwit had left it on the kitchen table!

I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs. But first I’ll water the flowers.

As I pour water in the flowers, I spilled quite a bit of it on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels to wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed
the bills aren’t paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

I try to figure out why nothing got done today. I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I’m really tired.

I realise this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail….

End
 

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2 Responses to AAADD

  1. Kannan says:

    Mistake. Why do you want to do anything?. Should be complaining about all these not being done by others (ofcourse, taking care not to deprive the needs of your taste buds).
    Actually when I saw AAADD, I was expecting to read about how ‘one gets less and less attention, seemingly.

    Like

  2. trisha says:

    hilarious. sounds too familliar to connect it with old age 🙂

    Like

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